ASPIN'S POV
11:28 pm
June 11, 2000
"Aspin this is ridiculous do you really have to go? You know I despise that unruly state."
"Yes, mother I really have to go. My interest and the career I want to pursue are not ridiculous. You didn't think it was ridiculous when father did it."
"Exactly and you see where he is now. He's just as crazy as the patients he used to care for."
"But mother he lived in a different time period things were different then."
"You're not in your time period Aspin! Look at you! You're wearing highwaisted denim shorts and a yellow shirt with those ugly white tennis shoes of yours."
"Excuse me but what is wrong with my clothes."
"That style is not your generations. That's what I use to wear."
"Well im so sorry my generation is to baggy or unpleasing for me. It's not my fault my mind finds your times fashion more appealing than my own."
"Actually, it's all your fault. Just promise you won't get too caught up in the people in that place and find you a man to keep you grounded. It'll do you good."
"I do not need a man to keep me grounded mother! My fascinations with the deranged mind is only one of curiosity I couldn't fall in love with someone of that state."
"You say that now but just wait. One day they will bring in a beautiful man and he'll trick you. You cant trust those kinds of people no matter what they look like. They can persuade you just with their words. So please just be careful Aspin."
"You're speaking to me like im going to fall in love with a psycho. I'm not even looking for love especially not in someone locked up in an insane asylum. Love will find me and I know he will be just perfect."
"You expect too much good from this world my darling. You believe in soul mates and true love but that doesn't exist. All good things come to and end Aspin you know this already. Its getting late it's time for you to go now. I need you here early tomorrow morning to get the rest of your boxes."
"Yes mother I understand, goodnight."
"Goodnight sweetheart. I love you."
"I love you too."
She kissed my forehead then I shut the door to my car and waved her off before driving away from my childhood home. My mother hates the thought of me moving away. I need to leave this little city. I have to leave this city. It's boring and full of hippies and wannabes who do nothing but surf, swim, and party. I need to be in place with passion and lights not a small beach town. That's why im moving far away from here to New York. Mother absolutely hates the state. I'm not sure why and I can never get a true explanation out of her. Everytime I ask her about it she always says "Now's not the time, love" or "It's just too crowded." I know damn well that's not why though. The state being too crowded is not a good enough reason for her to beg and plead for me to move somewhere else or stay home. I guess I'll never know. New York may not be my mothers cup of tea but hell, that place is perfect for me.
New York is my dream. It's amazing how much it appeals to me. There's so many opportunities and the city is fast paced something I need to keep me on my feet. I need to feel a certain hope and find my destiny in a place where my mistakes can be forgotten. I need room to breathe and a place where nobody knows me. A fresh start. Here in this city everyone knows me. I'm the cute girl that owns the surf shop. That's not who I want to be. That's not the reputation I want to withhold. I was forced into this position from my family. I want to choose and make my own reputation not have it handed down to me from my father. I need a new clean slate.
The same teenage beach bums visit me everyday at the shop. They all know of me moving and pursuing my dreams, but they don't think I can make it. "You'll never survive in the fast lane," they tell me while polishing their boards. They think I can't handle myself. I've been handling myself, my mother, and this shop all alone for years now. I think i'll be fine just getting by with myself. I have a plan and I'm ready. I have everything I need to take on a new start. I even have the money and there's nothing that can keep me here any longer.
I've already got a job in New York and I've looked at nice little apartments. Mother is even lending me money and I've had savings from father's surf shop that I took over when he left. I wasn't very close with him and he didn't seem to want to ever be with me. I just dismissed his questionable behavior because I was sure he had his certain reasons and mother told me not to worry about it.
My relationship with my father was not anything like you'd expect. We didn't have the usual father daughter relationship. I was daddy's little girl until I hit the age of about 12 and then we just no longer had the connection. I'll never be sure of why or what happened to him. I like to just think we faded away but I don't think that happens with family. I've only heard It happening among friends. My looks however did change when I began to turn 12. My eyes got greener, my hair became darker than its bleach blonde, and my figure became more fit. When I hit the age of 15 mother and father fought like crazy. Their fighting drove this family to unbearable ends and tore all of us apart. Being the only child I had no one to speak to these things about and I was not about to tell anyone at school. Months later my parents got divorced. It completely wrecked my mother. I had never seen a women so sad and in desperate need of any type of feeling in my life and I couldn't do anything but feel sorry for her. I couldn't love her as much as my father had and I couldn't provide for her the way father did. Of course his shop was passed down to me but how could a 15 year old girl who's never even touched surfboards compare business to a middle aged man who had sold surfboards for years. Therefor I can no longer look after his shop I have to go on to pursue my own dreams and accomplish my own goals. I can no longer allow myself to be held back by my mother's lost love and my father's unknown feelings.
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AUTHORS NOTE:
Super super excited for Aspin moving. I hope you guys have enjoyed the start of this story and don't worry Harry will be here soon! Please vote and comment it would be greatly appreciated.
-ang
