Brendon Urie Imagines | Volume 1

Imagine 16 | Self Harm

Trigger warning: Self harm, suicidal thoughts

A/N: If you are triggered by self harm or suicidal thoughts, this is your final warning. I suggest you read with caution or skip it.

This was requested! Ah! My first request!

THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

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You and Brendon sat on the couch watching [insert your favorite T.V. show here]. You placed your head on his chest and cuddled into his side. You wrapped yourself deeper into the blanket you were in.

It was currently sprinkling outside. It was uncommon for much rain in the summer in California, so it was nice to get some rain.

You snuggled deeper into Brendon's side as the dogs both started whining at the door.

"Babe, the dogs want to go out, I'm going to need to get up." He chuckled, seeing you probably in the most awkward yet oddly the most comfortable position you've ever been in. You sat up so Brendon could get up and let the dogs out.

You lied down on the couch when Brendon got up. He stepped outside with the dogs for a bit to get some fresh air.

You heard the door open and Brendon's voice rang out through the house.

"Babe, it stopped raining! Come look!"

You groaned as you got up. You shuffled over to the door. You stepped out and stood next to him.

"So I was thinking, maybe we could go swimming?" He looked at you and smiled with his puppy dog look on his face.

You sighed. You had been dating Brendon for almost a year now, your guy's relationship moved forward quickly. You moved in a few weeks ago which seemed too much for the relationship, but it's gone well so far. Although, he didn't know about your self harm.

When it came down to it, you wore hoodies from fall to spring. In the summer, you wore mid-sleeve shirts to hide the scars on your upper arms and tried to hide the scars on your forearms in every way you knew how. Most of the scares have faded and you were two weeks clean.

But when it came down to swimming you always avoided it at all costs. Plus Brendon has never seen you in swimwear nor swim with you.

"I don't know how to swim." You replied. You've made this excuse dozens of times before.

"Don't worry, you can't lay on the swan floatie we have." You looked at him and he looked a bit concerned.

You gave in.

"Fine." You said.

You walked upstairs and changed into your swimwear that you hardly ever wore. You looked at yourself in the mirror.

"You can do this." You whispered to yourself.

You walked downstairs while Brendon was in the bathroom changing. You decided to step outside.

Brendon soon came out after you. He instantly stared at you.

"Y-You look great." Brendon scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed.

"T-Thanks." You stuttered back.

You stood there for five minutes or so sitting on the chair next to the pool while Brendon dived off the roof of the small studio.

"You alright?" He asked as he came up for air.

"I'm fine." You replied.

You decided you should have some fun while you can.

"Hey Brendon?" You asked him.

He looked up at you and smiled.

"Yes, love?"

"I think I'm gonna jump in." You looked down at the wavy water.

"I thought you didn't know how to swim?" He raised an eyebrow at you.

"I-I do." You stuttered.

"Alright, well, jump!" He smiled brightly.

You stepped to the edge. You held your breath and jumped. You swam up to the surface, gasping for air.

You felt a pair of hands settle on your waist. Brendon grinned at you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, unaware he can see your scars.

He stares at your arm in shock.

"What?" You ask. You glance at your arm and instantly pull away from him.

You rush to get out of the pool and manage to get out without slipping. You hug your body. You feel exposed. You wrap yourself in a towel and rush inside.

Brendon runs after you.

"Y/N?! Baby, please!" He called throughout the house.

You locked yourself in your guy's bedroom. You sat against the door, sobbing. He knocks on the door.

"Go away! I'm a fucking monster!" You shout.

"Babe, please, just...can we talk?" He pleaded.

You sighed and opened the door, he instantly wrapped you in a hug.

"I'm so sorry you're going through this. I love you, and you're not a monster. You're beautiful, talented, and meant to be on this planet. I would be nothing without you. I'll be here when you need me. Okay?" He mumbled into your neck.

You hugged him back.

"Okay..." You whispered.

"Just please don't do it again. For me?" He pulled back and looked into your eyes.

"Okay..." You whispered again. You look down.

He picks up your chin so you're looking at him. He smiled through his tears and sealed your lips with a kiss.

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A/N: Oh my god I got so lazy at the end sorry. I'm so sorry.

ANYWAYS IF YOU KNOW WHO CONOR MAYNARD IS, THERE'S GONNA BE AN IMAGINE BOOK OF HIM COMING SOON!