Funny Random Stuff

Comebacks

1. Someone you don't like: Ooh, I can't stand you!

You: Well then sit the fuck down bitch.

2. *Your phone rings in class*

Bully: Aww, was that your mommy?

You: Nope, it was yours.

3. Mean girls: Bitch

You:  Call me a bitch again, I dare you.

Mean girls: Bitch.

You: Yeah, that's right bitches, do as you're told.

4. Bully: You're ugly.

You: That's not what your boyfriend/girlfriend said last night.

5. You: *Talking in class*

Teacher: Why are you speaking during my lesson?

You: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

6. Cop: Did you kill this man?

You: No. A bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, lead comes from the ground and ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed.

7. Meanie: No-one likes you, you loner.

You: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I meant to feel offended? The only thing offending me is your face.

8. Girl: My make-up is for life.

You: You know what they say about those that wear make-up everyday. (Pause for effect) They're fucking ugly.

I got these from the internet. I don't own them. They weren't supposed to be insulting or anything. They're jokes.

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