Truth

Chapter One

Adi is dead.

The one person I could trust, the one person that understood me, the one person who actually loved me, is dead.

Why God? Why her and not me? Look at me, I'm a waste without her. Her long blonde hair always brought life to my brown hair. Her blue eyes popped and complimented my green ones. Her smile, well, her smile was the cause for mine. Without her my brown hair, green eyes, and emotionless face has no point in this world. There, I said it. I have no point in this world anymore, so please, take me too.

"Please," I whisper.

"Shh," my mother hushes me and continues to listen to the Pastor I have yet to learn the name of.

I roll my eyes and stare at my hands. I pick at what's left of my short nails and start to wish I had gotten them done with Adi a week ago when she offered. If she were here she'd tell me that I have to stop biting my nails because "it's not lady like," but I'd shrug it off and bite them in front of her just to make her groan.

My daydream is interrupted by my little brother pulling at my jacket.

"Lauree," he whines, "let's go, mom's already walking to the car!"

I raise my head to see almost everyone has emptied the church. After scanning the few people left, I lock eyes with a tall brunette and start to recall why I recognize him, Adi had a picture of them together on her phone.

"I'll walk," I tell my brother and head towards the boy.

I approach the kid with one goal and one goal only, to figure out how he knew Adi.

"Hello," I say while tapping the boy's back.

He turns around and does a quick scan of my body, not bothering to hide the fact that he just checked me out in a holy building.

"Hey," he throws his hands in his pockets.

"Who are you?"

"Uh, Trevor. You?"

"Adi's friend. Best friend," I snap.

"Oh yeah, you're Lauren. Adi talked about you all the time," he shrugs and acts as if this is an everyday conversation.

"All the time? How could she talk about me all the time if she only spent time with her family and me?" I really don't like this kid and I'm not sure as to why, I just don't.

"Guess that would have to make me family," he says with a roll of his eyes to the back of his head.

"I know all of Adi's family. I don't know you," my frustration builds.

"Well, I'm her cousin. We grew up together until I moved away when I was about 8. We got in touch after a while through email and eventually text. We moved back yesterday to help her family get through her death-and-all."

I shutter at his last words. 'Death-and-all', how could he say it like that? I would've preferred he spit in my face.

"Well hey, it was nice to meet you. Let me know if you want to hang out sometime," and with that being said, he left.

"Let me know if you want to hang out sometime," I mock once he's out of reach. The people next to me make confused faces and stare at my deranged self.

"What are you looking at?" I snap.

~~~~~

"Mom?"

"Lauren, is that you?" her groggy voice is barely loud enough for me to hear, "I didn't think you were going to come out of your bedroom tonight. There are some leftovers in the fridge if your hungry. What time is it?" She rubs her eyes and sits up.

"About 11. Can we talk?"

"Sweetie I have work tomorrow, is it important? Could we talk in the mor-"

I cut her off, "It's about Adi."

Her tone changes, "Come sit."

I drag my tired and aching body to her large bed, sinking into the mattress once I reach it.

We sit in silence for a while and I wonder if she's searching for words as much as I am.

"I don't know what to say," she answers my thought.

"Did you miss Dad when he died?" I poke.

"Of course I did, I still do. What kind of question is that?" Her response is surprisingly soothing.

"I thought it was a sign of weakness to miss the dead," my eyes search through the darkness.

"It's not a sign of weakness. If anything, it's a sign of strength. Only the strongest people can live through the loss of someone so special."

"I miss her," I admit.

"I know you do, we all do," she puts her arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to her. "She was such a good kid, but you are too hun."

"Not without her." I mutter.

"Don't say that, you have to be good. You have to keep her reputation, or else she'll come back and haunt you," she jokes and squeezes my sides.

I force out a fake laugh and slip out of her grip.

"Yeah well I hope she does. Maybe then I can ask her why she left."

"Hun-"

"What happened Mom? Why won't anyone just tell me why she died? I am her best friend and for God's sake I should get to know why she left!"

"Lauren!" My mother's voice raises to my level and I find myself lost for words again.

I look into her eyes and plead to know why my best friend left me. She was so innocent, so pure, she did no wrong to this world and didn't deserve to die.

"The truth, please," I beg my mother one last time.

She takes a deep breath and lowers her voice to almost a whisper, "Adi's father is an alcoholic as you know and," my mother's eyes fill with tears, "One night he came home completely drunk and way out of hand. He started to throw things and woke the whole house up. Adi's mom managed to grab Adi's newborn sister and hide in the bathroom with the door locked but Adi was completely lost as to what was going on. She started to go downstairs but her father accidentally shot her. He didn't mean to do it and immediately tried to save her but it was just to late. He's already been sentenced to a lifetime in prison but nothing will make up for Adi's death and I'm so sorry we didn't tell you Lauren-"

"You're lying. No, that can't be the truth this is all a sick joke! You are wrong! She's not dead, she's not!" I sprint out the bedroom door while wiping my face with my sleeve, soaking the fabric with tears. I push past my brother and run out the front door of my house, not slowing down my pace at all.

"Lauree?" I hear my brother moan.

I turn back to see my mother shuffling to catch up with me.

"Lauren, wait please!" She screams but I don't look back.

"No! This is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to any of us and no one is talking about it! No one cares! She was so perfect! I want her back! Please!" my body becomes weak and I push until I reach the highway. I brace myself and begin to jump but someone grabs my wrist.

"Lauren, are you insane?" my mother wraps her arms around me.

"Let me go!" I scream and struggle to get out of her grip. "It's not fair, it's not fair, I hate you. I hate everyone, she was the only good in this world and that's the truth!" I pound my fists against my mother and start to become even more fragile than before. "She's gone, she's gone and I want to be gone too, let me be happy again, let me die!" As my words spill out my feet begin slip and I fall on my knees. "She's dead," my voice cracks as I sob into my mother's hug, wishing I had never asked for the truth.