Personal Poetry Book

Tied

This poem is originally written by me (Some parts are inspired by Alyssa Cassese's Blue and Green)

When I was younger the word tie never was a good thing

I would tell people my favorite colors are blue and purple 

And they'd look at me with this weird expression, saying "No you have to choose one"

I would always play kick ball with my friends during recess

And when the bell rang and the game was announced a tie everyone would go back to class angry

But I would go back to class thinking it was a win win situation and both teams won

Ties are not good

At 11 years old, I was passionate about a whole lot of things

I was constantly asked what I wanted to be when I grew up

In my heart I knew I loved writing and wanted to become a journalist and my love for the theater just started to expand as well

But from prior experience of knowing liking two things at once is bad

When I'm asked by my teacher what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said actress 

Because a comes before w in the alphabet

But slowly the little writer in me died

I could never get through the first page of any story I write and abandon every try

I should have learned my lesson that liking two things is never a good thing

Im just leaving middle school and I finally got over a crush I had on a boy for 4 years

I develop a new crush that starts off small but over time It gets stronger and stronger

And I tried to hold it in as much as I phisically can

I think I have a crush on my best friend

But that can't be a good thing because my best friend is a girl

And I'm not afraid of being gay because my friends are so accepting and tell me they love me no matter what

No, I was afraid because I knew that I was not gay

The realization that I like girls and guys hit me like a train because my whole life I've been programed to think that liking two things instead of one is the worst thing I could possibly do

In the world that we live in today, children are assumed hetrosexual the moment they come out of their mother's womb

Because you can only like one thing

And if I walk down the street, seen holding the hand of a girl

Then some years later in the future seen holding the hand of a guy

The person who first say me would walk up to me, mouth wide open

Saying aren't I gay, how the hell am I holding hands with a man

Because in this world today when someone ask you what your favorite thing is 

You can never reply with two things 

Because in this world today, a tie in any sport is the worst thing that can ever happen

Because in this world today collage students who double major are seen as crazy 

And as a high school student, you better just have one god damn career path

Because in this world today, you have to be either hetro-straight or homo-gay 

And fit every single stereotype of said sexuality 

But lets not forget that this is the same world that spits out phrases like

"The more the merrier," or "Two is better than one"

The world is constantly seen as black and white and shades of grey are constantly ignored

But my favorite colors have always been blue and purple

So what am I supposed to do about that