Some Things You Should Know Before Dating Me

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This poem was originally written by Jamie Mortara


Here are some things you need to know before dating me

One, there is a strong chance the only reason I am talking to you is because I believe you might be a Scorpio

Two, Your last partner was a Gemini and I swear I'm not holding this against you

Three, Sometimes I feel like I'm all the pigeons trapped inside all the subway stations in all of New York

Four, Woah excuse me I am not "New Agey" I am a witch

Five, I always wear this necklace that has the Virgin Mary on it even though I'm an Atheist.   

Six, Sometimes I open up my phone and when I see there are no new text I get a little happy

Seven, Today my therapist lead me in a breathing exersize, and when I exhaled, I suddenly remembered I was inside an actual human body and cried so much that I canceled all future appointments

Eight, I have a PHD in talking to the moon 

Nine, My job skills include living alone on a farm and letting the horses make my decisions

Ten, I like long walks on the beach, directly into the bottom of the ocean

Eleven, All I ever did my whole life was listen to music and wait for one misery after another

Twelve, The worst thing you can do to me is tell me there was nothing wrong because I seem so happy

Thirteen, Yes I know I'm a chicken nugget made of crazy

Fourteen, Sometimes I let my phone die and I envy it

Fifteen, Last night I ate the best Chinese food I've had in  years, then i stuck my fingers down my throat

Sixteen, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this

Seventeen, Despite my best efforts I am real

Eighteen, Don't you dare try and figure me out. Too many people have claimed they can read me like a book and went and put me on a shelf

Nineteen, Don't ever ask me if I'm hungry because 99.9% of the time I am and I don't want to be reminded

Twenty, My bed is a black hole that I can not climb out of. It took me months to be here but I can feel myself craving for that feeling again. You see it is too dangerous for people like me to know that kind of emptiness. All that nothing trapped inside of my stomach. I promise, I promise you everyday I'm trying to teach myself to let go and forget how it feels, but I love being empty.




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