My Roller Coaster

Introduction

           Once upon a time there was a small girl.. who absolutely LOVED princesses. She loved Dora, and Blues Clues, and yes, even Hanna Montana. When very young she wouldn't talk to much of anyone other than her family. Even in a public place, if there was someone her family trusted deeply she refused-more like wasn't able-to talk to them. She had something called selective mutism, which less than 1% of people seen in mental health areas have. She started school early, in hopes that being in social situations would get her to go out of her comfort zone and to talk to other people. At first she wouldn't talk to much of anyone at all, but slowly started only whispering in the teachers ear. She had to repeat preschool because of her lack of words.

          Even though she was scared to talk to others and would seem like an incredibly terrified little girl to anyone who didn't know her-which she kind of was-she was pure at heart. She was an incredibly kind girl who loved everyone and everything, although she was often bullied and sometimes came home to her grandmother, who watched her while her parents worked, crying. She didn't have an unpure thought in her absolutely magnificent mind. She had almost no negativity. Luckily she got over the selective mutism.. but it was only the start. Nobody ever thought she could ever be in emotional distress.. That she would end up depressed. That she would end up having bipolar depression and adhd and sometimes even think of ways of suicide, and if they would be painful.. even though she's too scared to find out. That she would lose a friend- her first love.. to one of those thoughts. He held her together and after he was gone there was nothing but pieces. That she would sometimes cry herself to sleep, trying to will her mind away from him and wanting to join. That she would be trying not to cry as she sat in her living room with her family paying no attention to her, writing a story about the things that they never knew about.

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                                                That little girl was me.