My Roller Coaster

Preschool / Kindergarden

~Hey, guys im sorry that there isn't all that much to most of these first chapters. I promise that the last few ones (the ones in the past few years) will be much more detailed!~

          I remember when i was in either preschool or kindergarden we would have play time.. everyone would get a toy or something and play. My school had this dress up area.. i would always go there. Unless there was another person, of course. I used to put those plastic princess high heels that you can still find in the store. I would get lost in my imagination. For that time being- i was a princess. I was perfect. Everthing was just.. perfect.

          There was also another area where they had blocks and cars and other things like that. I remember this one day in particular for what ever reason.. after i had become more social with people. I was playing with the blocks i believe and i'm honestly not even sure why i remember this but i remember seeing the kids around me.. what they look like to some extent, even. I think i was talking to like one or two people and i wasn't really playing much.. just standing around. Someone made fun of me for being tall. I didn't care.. i've never cared about my height. I've actually always loved it.

          I remember how we used to read everyday with the teachers.. how, even though i don't recall them ever having people read, i was always terrified i would be asked to. I always loved reading, and hearing other people read. My grandmother used to sit with me all the time and read.. partially because of my lack of words due to the selective mutism.. i was slow with my speech development. I remember my teachers counting and have the students count with them. School was really difficult for me. To me it wasn't that i had to learn. It wasn't necessarily the bullying itself, either. It was just the simple thought of having to be around other people. People i didn't know. People i wasn't comfortable around. After that it was pretty much over, although the social anxiety never has left, and i don't believe ever will.