Girl-ish

"don't tell"

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chapter five

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It's the first day of Spirit Week, and I'm feeling very un-spirited right now.

The number of eyes directed my way is insane.

I'm at my locker of all places, not even in the center of the hallway, which means people are literally going out of their way to gawk at me.

This is fucking crazy.

"Hey." Elena joins me, obviously just as freaked out as I am. "What's with the staring?" she asks.

"You don't know?" I slam my locker door shut, turning and flipping off the first pair of irises I see. "It's been like this all damn day."

"I don't see you 'til this period, you know." She sighs unexpectedly, seeming clueless to my huge problem, and leans against the hard locker doors. "You ever just feel super drained, for no reason?"

"No," I answer, "because usually I'm either just pissed or unemotional." I reply very sarcastically, just to be funny, though those were two of my main emotions.

She doesn't laugh. "Ugh. Why can't I just be happy?"

"Sorry to tell you, but you're in school, and school practically spells out 'an anti-happy wasteland'."

Elena sighs again. "Have you seen Cam today? I haven't." she asks unexpectedly, and I have to stop myself from completely locking up.

"Nope."

It's the truth. I have nearly gone a total of two days without seeing Cameron, today being the second full day if I manage to avoid him successfully.

I keep telling myself that time away from him will help control my urges. But I miss spending time at the shop already, and it's not good that I can't go there, especially with me being at such a bad place with my mother right now. 

I'm out of a refuge.

"I told him I was going to skip this morning, but then my mom made me come in late." She pulls out her phone, and then asks me another unexpected question.

"Who's nominated for HC? I missed the announcements." That explains why she's confused about all the staring.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I say bitterly, starting off down the hall. She follows, periodically looking up from her phone to see if a teacher is coming by.

"Oh, he got checked out earlier," she murmurs out loud, and involuntarily I breathe a sigh of relief. She doesn't notice. "I forgot he had a dentist's appointment today. Now who's the nominees?"

"Lisa, you, me, and Marci."

"Ew, Lisa and Marci, really? I figured they would...wait, you?" She stops completely in the middle of the hall, making the people behind her come to an abrupt halt as well.

As they huff and move around us, I nod. "Unfortunately, yes. And before you ask who nominated me, consider the fact that there's only one answer to that question, and they're not a student here, nor are they even our age. In fact, they're way over our age and should not be allowed to nominate their own daughters." I shout the last part just in case the principal is near.