un-edited {may contain spelling mistakes- sorry}
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Weeks of therapy turned to months and nothing could suffice. I had been dragged into a hole of emptiness and no amount of councellers meetings or antidepressants could pull me out. Trying to get my head clear was an everyday struggle and it was taking a toll on my physical and emotional health; everything was going downhill. Waking up in the middle of the night covered in glistening sweat was an everyday ritual and hasn't slowed its pace since that one dreadful afternoon. Luke, my parents, and all the councellers I've gone to are worried, but there is just nothing they can do that's going to erase whst happened.
I'm sat across from the tv, clicking through the channels to find something to clear my head, but all that is on are those late night talk shows. It's probably around 3 am right now and Luke is fast asleep upstairs. Sometimes I wish I could sleep as heavy as Luke does. Before Luke went to prison, we took a trip to Seattle and he was asleep in the passenger seat when a truck turned into our lane, heading straight for us. I swerved and the truck nearly missed my small Dodge Intrepid gifted from my dad as a graduation gift. I stopped the car on the side of the speedway, only to find Luke still fast asleep and softly snoring in his peaceful slumber, completely unaware that we had almost gotten in an accident.
The rain poured down hard against the roof, the thunder rolled over the hills in the distance whilst I sat uneasy on the black leather sofa. I was never the kid who loved loud noises, even on the Fourth of July I would plug my ears and refrain myself from crying as my arm was linked with my mothers.
My mind soon travelled towards my mother and how much I missed having her around. Sitting with her and holding her hand as she took her last breath in that hospital was the most tragic moment of my life. I'd lost my role model that day, my teacher, my everything. Looking into her eyes reminded me of the poor boy I looked at before he took his last breath, only that was different. My mom died of cancer, and the boy was murdered.
I shook my head, trying to release some of the pressure racking up in my brain, but nothing seemed to work. My brain was overanalyzing every detail: the sounds, the smell of metallic blood, the words spoken.
The boy, he was dressed like any other unemployed teenager. Plain grey t-shirt, navy sweatshirt zipped up halfway, loose jeans and some skate shoes. His hair was shaggy and a dirty brown color that lay across his pale skin. His eyes were bright green and stood out like the moon in the black night sky. He was a muscular boy, but didn't look like a gym junky. By my memory, he looked as if he would be a strong man, but in the situation I found him in, he was puppy in a war field.
I shut my eyes tight, hoping that the tighter I squeeze them shut, the faster the memories engraved into my brain would fade. No such luck came with this strategy so I got up to get some food from the pantry. I settle for some cereal and fruit. I sat down on one of the stools at the island and ate in silence, hearing only the sound of my broken clock.
Footsteps were coming into hearing range and I spun myself around as fast as I could on the fabric of the cushion. Luke stood in the doorway of the kitchen, hair going in every direction and his black boxers hugged his bum and thighs tighter than his old pairs.
He walked to one of the cupboards and grabbed a bowl before standing infront of me on the opposite side of the island. He poured himself a bowl of cereal and began to eat, not breaking eye contact with me.
"Why are you up so early?" His voice groggy from just waking up.
"Couldn't sleep." I replied simply. He raised his one eyebrow in disbelief but soon shrugged his shoulders. He didn't look up at me but he kept his voice low.
"You need to stop thinking about this boy, El. It's not healthy for you to behave this way. Maybe I should call yo-" I put my hand up to stop him from saying another word.
"You do not need to call my father, nor my counceller because I couldn't sleep one night, Luke! You weren't there, you didn't experience what I did. You didn't have to risk your life for a stanger and then watch him get shot a few feet away from you! It's scratched into my memory, and I can't let it go. You don't understand.You left me there so you could get that dammed television. " I was finished shouting at him, after remembering we have neighbours. Luke stayed quiet and neither of us moved from our spots. I was contimplating in my head whether I had overreacted, when all he was trying to do was help me.
I looked up at him through my bangs trying to make suttle eye contact, but his eyes faced the floor. He was speechless, and I feel a pang of guilt move its way into my heart. I scooted my stool back, making a high pitched noise echo through the house. Lukes head shot up and finally, we made eye contact. His eyes were tired and full of guilt, like my brain is right now. I walked over to him on the opposite side to where I was and I looked up at him. His hands snaked around my hips as he pulled us closer together. I bumped my forehead gently with his, teasing him slightly with no emotions on my petite face.
I grabbed one of his hands and pulled him up the stairwell and towards our bedroom. I opened the door and let go of Lukes' hand. I was walking toward my dresser when I heard the door close. The sound of the duvet cover moving as he climbed into the queen sized bed was loud, as everything else in the house was quiet. I pulled out one of my favorite of Lukes' shirts and slipped it on, climbing out of my shorts afterwards and throwing the dirty clothing in the hamper. The duvet was already open for me to climb into on my side, and I did. He pulled the blanket over my shoulder, as for I was facing away from him, and he slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards his chest. The warmth radiating off of his body soothed my body and mind, dragging me into a heavy slumber in a matter of minutes.
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I'm so glad that readers are liking my new story so far! I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as equivilent as the last, I did not spend months trying to write this chapter.
Please comment what you thought about this chapter and what you think might happen in the next chapter! {I'm trying not to leave cliff hangers- I'm really bad for doing that a lot}
Please vote as well if you liked this chapter and I will try to start the next chapter as soon as I have time! :)
Love you all!!
-dont forget to wash your hands after you pee-
