Valediction [Fólkvangr End, Book 3][Loki Fanfiction]

Chapter Twenty-Two - Thoughts of You

Author's Note: I know. I know it's been a while. But, as I've mentioned, I just moved into a new apartment in New York and this week is the end of my first week here. I'm looking for a job still and just generally flustered and busy so apologies for how long it's taken me to update. This is a fairly brief chapter but also an important one as we transition into the climax of the story. Also, the title and poem are a reference to many things/people in the series, so see if you can figure out what you think it's about! And finally, as I'm sure some of you have seen me post, I love taking questions on the series and on writing in general over on the blog for this series, so go ahead and ask me anything at folkvangr-end.tumblr.com! x

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There were times when I was with him and it was too much. Does that make sense? When someone stirs a world of emotion in you and it's so intense you can barely stand to be with them.

During those moments, I wanted so desperately to leave— to go home, walk in my bedroom and shut the door behind me. Crawl into bed and lay there in the dark, tracing the outline of my lips with my fingers— replaying everything he said, everything we did. I wanted to be left alone— with nothing other than my thoughts of him.

                                                                                                                                 —Lang Leav

I'm slumped over a bowl of cereal, staring at the unforgiving stainless steel table. Thor sits beside me, chewing slowly on a piece of toast, his arm just slightly grazing mine; somehow driving me insane while still comforting me. There are a few other people scattered about the cafeteria, most of them seem to be significantly more functioning than I am. I give up slowly, pressing my cheek to the table and close my eyes tightly.

"Not feeling so well, are we?" A familiar voice asks from across the table. "Good to see you again, Thor."

"Not so hot, no. Thanks for pointing it out, Ra," I grumble.

"I think I owe you an apology," Ra says suddenly.

This, of course, piques my interest. "Oh?" I lift my head to look at him and see stars threatening the edges of my vision.

Ra's face is serene and beautiful as always. But there is an odd an stormy darkness to his eyes that looks out of place on his face. "I did not act when I should have and I could have tried to prevent the harm that came to you."

I don't know what I'm supposed to be saying in response to Ra. "I'm sorry, is a god apologizing to me right now?"

Ra smirks slightly. "Glad to see you're as humble as ever."

"Listen, I've taken a lot of shit from the higher being community," I sigh, slowly lowering my chin onto my arms. "I also have a feeling you've got something else to say so you might as well get to it."

"Yes, your friend Frey," Ra says. I nearly choke.

"Yeah, where is he?"

"In order to avoid great turmoil I returned him to Zeus. But I feel you should know he was at your side while you were not well. He is not very pleased with me for taking him back before you awoke."

"Okay, that's great, but that was weeks ago and you're only now just getting back to me about this?"

"Was it? I've always found human time very odd."

"Are you done now?" I grind my teeth together and rise from the table. Ra puts his hand over mine. "What?"

"Well, you asked and I am not yet done," Ra replies. I take a deep breath and sit back down again.