Emotions

Existential Crisis No. 1

I'm scared of dying. I'm going to be perfectly honest when I say that I'm not religious at all. I don't really believe in a place to go after I die, but rather that I should just be successful in this life and maybe there's a chance of me being reincarnated. But with every second that I'm not content, I feel like I'm wasting away time and I could be doing so much more with my life to help the world or make someone happy or discover something or create something. I just really don't know how I can fulfill my life to its fullest since I'm a flawed human that makes mistakes, and I'm not complaining, I'm stating facts; all humans are factually flawed and humanity in itself will never be able to achieve whatever it is that we're supposed to achieve. We don't really have any purpose for existence. I mean, I'm not talking about us as individual people, but more like all of mankind. If we weren't in the universe, if the Earth never existed, what would the difference be? Is purpose even really a thing, and if it is, then what's the purpose of it? Same with existence. They correlate in my mind, and somehow I convince myself that they're both infinite, since technically the universe is, so what's the point of something if it has no beginning or end? How do we really know that we're not meant creating an entire world for ourselves that only we can live, seeing as that's a way to reverse infinity, if we begin everything and then everything comes to a close and doesn't continue on without us. There's a possibility that nothing else in this world, this entire universe, actually exists. Although, if that's the case, then what's the purpose of reality, if it really exists? I mean, what would really happen if nothing existed, ever, at all, for infinity?