The life of a pigeon is hard, but I live it. I've learned to eat everyone and everything to survive. Just yesterday I ate my house because the sprinklers went on. I enjoy living the thug life but I also enjoy sleeping and being antisocial and home.
I actually have superpowers tho. I glare into people's souls and they immediately give me their bread. My main source of bread is my fav person, Bob the Hobo.
One morning my least favorite person, Carl the pigeon, flew into my home tree and I almost became the hulk. My tree. No touchy. That's why I hate Carl. Screw him. Anyways, I pushed him off and he broke his beak and now he can't steal my bread. I always win.
To be continued...
