The Mentor

2

I arrive on the train, my head covered with a hood to stop the cameras from getting any good shots. Haymitch has already been deposited on his bed. Effie is waiting for Peeta and Katniss Everdeen outside. I wonder who came to say goodbye to Peeta today. His witch of a mother? His quiet father? His brothers? No one who loves him as much as me.I can hear the cameras clicking away outside, and I'm sure it's because the tributes have arrived. I can't face the fear on Peeta's face, so I slip away, down to my compartment.Once inside, I head to the bathroom. My hands grip the cold porcelain sink as I stare at myself. My eyes are rimmed with red though I haven't been crying and my lips are white from being pressed together. The blood has fled from my face, leaving me looking like a ghost. I feel about as substantial as one.The hot water of the shower pounding into my back does nothing to help pick me out of my state of mind. I can't summon any hope. If President Snow found Peeta, he won't stop until he's dead. Water drips in front of my eyes, burning, but I don't make a move to stop it.I need to see Finnick. I need someone who can convince me that my entire life hasn't just imploded. Or maybe I need someone who knows that it has and helps me find a way to pull it together.He's the only one who knows it all. He's the only one who knows of the torture I've faced at the hands of President Snow, the attack from the man at Snow's granddaughter's party, the days when I've been close to falling. Somehow, even though I can't bring myself to tell Peeta or Haymitch, I'll tell him.I must have spent two hours sitting in that shower, letting myself go numb. It's only when my foot cramps that I force myself to turn off the water and step out into the frigid air of the bathroom.Effie will come find me soon enough. I'd rather face Peeta and Katniss Everdeen on my own terms. I don't want Peeta to lose the faith he still has in me, even if it is misguided.I dry myself off with one of the fluffy white towels and slip a calf-length dress over my head. I step out into the compartment, my bare feet slapping against the ground. My soaking wet hair drips down my back, darkening the soft grey of the dress.When I walk out into the dining room, no one is there. Capitolian servants are clearing the dishes. The sound of a television blares from the next compartment. Of course. They'd be watching the other reapings.As I approach, the sounds of the television stop. I hear them beginning to move around restlessly."Haymitch has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about television behavior," Effie says as I come closer to the door.Peeta laughs. "He was drunk," he says. "He's drunk every year.""Every day," the girl adds, Katniss Everdeen."Yes," Effie hisses. "How odd you two find it amusing. You know your mentor is your lifeline to the world in these Games."My heart goes cold in my chest, and I turn away from the open door. I'm no lifeline. I'm an anchor.Haymitch stumbles in past me, ruby red and barely standing. I turn to hold him back from the open door, but he goes right in, not seeing me."I miss supper?" He says, his words so slurred I can barely understand him. Then he vomits all over the carpet and passes out into the mess."So laugh away!" Effie says. She flounces towards me, and I meet her eyes. She stalks past me with her nose raised high.I step into the room and look at Peeta, who has a slightly disgusted look on his face. I wish I could say the smell of the vomit bothers me, but I'm too accustomed to the stench."Grab his other arm," I say to Peeta, who does as I order. Together, we lift him up. Katniss grabs his feet and awkwardly, we carry him back down to his quarters."I tripped?" Haymitch asks groggily. "Smells bad –""Don't listen to Effie," I say to them. "Her and Haymitch have never really gotten along."When we get to his bedroom, I direct them to the bathroom. We set Haymitch down in the shower and turn the water on. He barely notices."I'll take it from here," Peeta says as Katniss stands."No," I say firmly, stepping into the shower. "Trust me, I've done it enough times. I'll get him into bed.""We can send one of the Capitol people to help you," Katniss Everdeen says. Her voice is lower than I expected. I haven't even looked at her yet.I shake my head at her, and she slips away quickly. Peeta lingers, staring at me with searching eyes."Piper, there was nothing you could've done to stop it. The odds just didn't work out for me," he says gently.Oh Peeta, if only you knew.Instead, I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his forehead. He has to bend to let me, but he obliges, and for that, I'm grateful. The feeling of his smooth skin comforts me for a moment."Get some sleep," I say. "Believe me, you'll need it tomorrow."Peeta glances down at the ring around my neck. There's no point in hiding it anymore."Piper, what happened to you in the Games?" He asks, and I hear fear in his voice."Another time," is all I can say, and he turns away. I can feel him slipping already. He's never seen me like this, so utterly nothing.I turn back to Haymitch, lying in a mix of steam and vomit, and get to work.As I tuck him into bed, half-conscious, he opens his eyes long enough to try to meet mine."We can bring him back, Piper," he says."No, we can't," I say."I brought you back. I promise, I'll be sober enough to bring him back too." He's getting less and less coherent."Why? What's the point?""Because if we don't bring him back, I'll lose you. And you're the one decent thing I have left."I bite my lip to stop myself from crying and finish tucking him in. "Don't miss breakfast tomorrow, alright?""Yes, ma'am."That night, I go to bed, but I don't sleep. My mind is too busy trying to figure out a way to keep Peeta alive when President Snow is determined to kill him.