Anywhere But Here Tonight

I remembered every detail, but that didn't help very much. We were driving back, talking and laughing like we always did. She was paying attention to the road, only glances over at me.

Then I felt the impact and the lights went out and I knew what happened. Somehow I heard my own story being told. Colbie Rose, the daughter of Layla and Steven Rose. Born on July 12th, 1994, died August 24th, 2015. A swerving driver rammed the vehicle off of the road and through the railing of the bridge we were on. I pushed the thought of death aside and instead prayed my mother made it, I prayed that she would be ok and that she was alive.

I waited in the inhuman like silence that had settled. I was all alone, floating, waiting for the golden gates of heaven or the burning flames of hell but neither of them came.

There was no sound, no movement, no anything. Then I hit the floor. The noises of the wilderness came to me when I realized I was in a forest. A creepy forest. The trees covered the moon from view, giving off an eerie glow. I had landed on the ground just at the foot of a dead oak. All I could see, was slowly moving around me. Then everything began to happen at once, the sirens filled my ears, and I saw the red and blue lights.

I looked to my right where a body covered in blood lay a few feet away from me. I lifted myself from the ground and crawled over to the person, ignoring the pain that I felt all over my body. Then the tears poured. The lifeless body was the body of my mother. My guardian. My best friend.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and cried into her shoulder, screaming and begging her to wake up. I felt someone tug at my waist trying to make me let go of her, but I held on for dear life. My life. Her life.

I closed my eyes and watched the darkness dance around me. My mother was the most important person in my life, and just like that she was gone.

Just like that my life meant nothing. Just like that my life began to spin into a tornado.

*******

I woke up, and almost sighed in relief. My eyes still closed as I remembered the terrible nightmare that felt so real. Hoping and praying to God that it was only a dream. A horrible and painful nightmare. Then my senses exploded as I opened my eyes, it felt as if I was slammed harshly back into my own body. The beeping of the machines, the bright light that flooded the white room. Over all it illuminated the pain radiating off my body, but the worst of it was that the horrible nightmare wasn't a nightmare at all but reality. I closed my eyes as tears silently started spilling out.

"Colbie?" I heard a whisper, I knew who it was but he wasn't worth opening my eyes for, not right now. I didn't want to see him and I definitely didn't want to hear what he had to say. I didn't want him to tell me what I already knew. "Colbie please, open your eyes and look at me, please," I took a deep breath. I knew if I opened my eyes I would see his dark brown eyes looking at me with sorrow, with pity.

"Eli, I can't," I croaked out, the tears pooled out steadily onto my cheeks. I flinched when I felt his thumb run across my cheek. He was trying to wipe away the tears but I knew it was hopeless, I knew that these tears would just keep spilling.

"Colbie, open your beautiful eyes and look at me, please." I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed.

"Why Eli? So you can tell me that my moms gone? So that I can look at you and see that sadness in your eyes? So that I can look at you and be reminded that everything in my life just changed?" I began to sob. "So you can wipe away the tears that aren't going to stop?"

"No."

"No?" My eyes snapped open as I looked over at the brown haired, brown eyed boy sitting next to me. His mouth was tilted in a small and sad smile.

"No, so I can tell you that your mom is still alive. She may not have a lot left in her right now but she's alive, and if I were you I....." Before he could finish his sentence I jerked my hand out of his and began to pull the IV from my arm, I didn't care about the pain as I jumped out of bed and ran to the door.

"Colbie! Hold on!" I didn't stop as I heard Eli yell after me, I didn't stop when I heard nurses yelling and chasing me, I didn't stop until I found the right room. Until I saw my drop dead gorgeous mother surrounded by nurses, hooked up to machines that screamed her condition. I ran to her bed and threw myself on top of her and began to cry and sob into her chest.

"Shhhhh, Colbie..." I heard her croak out. She pulled my chin up with all the strength she had and I looked into her deep blue eyes that were filled with so much pain, so much sorrow but more so with love. "It's okay love, its okay." I shook my head violently.

"Look at you Mom, it's not okay, it won't be okay." I felt her fingers run through my hair like she always does when she's comforting me, my tears began to subside but the pain in my heart only grew. I had a feeling this would be the last time I talked to my mother, she knew it too.

"There is something you need to know," Mom said as she continued to comfort me, her breathe began to waver as the machines started beeping louder. I shook my head silently begging her to stop, to not waste the energy she had left to talk. "There's a safe in my closet, I need you to find it and open it." I tried to interrupt her, forcing myself to believe that this wasn't the last time I'd talk to her. Forcing myself to believe she would survive her injuries. "Don't let your father see you, I promise it has all the answers," she paused short of breath. Her eyes were closed and her face was strained like she was in pain. I knew she was and all I wanted to do was take the pain away.

"Mom," but before I could talk she was looking at me and shaking her head.

"I'll be okay sweetheart, just know I love you."

"I love you too." I watched as she closed her gorgeous blue eyes, I moved her blonde ratted hair out of her face. Even covered in blood she was beautiful. I grabbed her hand and kissed the top of her head when I heard the sound. The long beep that signaled the worst day of my life. I held onto her hand as long as I could, but nurses soon pushed me out of the room and into the arms of someone else.

I stood looking at my mothers now lifeless body being electrocuted and prodded by nurses and doctors that couldn't help. My mind, and my body numb. I turned to look at the person who had taken hold of both of my hands, my vision was blurry but I knew who it was. I knew he would catch me, and finally, after what seemed like forever, I collapsed into Eli's arms in tears.