The first time I saw him, it was 1942. He was in an army uniform, coming home to his family. His arm was in a sling, and every step he took painted a pained grimace on his face. I was his family's neighbor, and had come to know them very well. His mother and I met every Saturday at precisely 1:00 in the afternoon to bake something and chat for a while. His father had saved me from car troubles many times, which I appreciated greatly. His little sister was always dragging me outside to play, and on many occasions, she would spend nights at my house. But him, I had never seen him before. I had only moved in a couple months ago, and he had been in Germany for nearly a year. His mother didn't talk about him much. Why, I wasn't sure.
It was Saturday afternoon when he arrived. He came staggering through the door as if intoxicated, though it was clear he wasn't. As he walked into the kitchen his mother burst into immediate happy tears, ecstatic to see her baby boy again. He hugged her with one arm, and you could see in his face that he was relieved to finally be home with her. Ella heard her mother whimpering and came rushing down to see what was the matter. As soon as he came into her line of sight, she stopped short. A dazzling smile wiped across her face and she rushed to join the reunion. It was truly a sight to see, and it made my heart swell.
"Oh, Rose, this is my son, Edwin." His mother wiped her eyes, embarrassed without reason.
"It's nice to finally meet you. Mother wrote about you quite a lot in her letters." He- Edwin- smiled, shaking my hand.
"And yet I've heard nothing of you." I joked, looking to his mother, and we all laughed.
"Mother, do you know where dad is?"
"He's working, sweetheart. He should be home in a few hours."
"Okay. I think I'll go unpack, let you two finish your baking." He smiled and made his way slowly upstairs.
"I'll go, you need time alone with him." I started to gather my coat from my chair, but his mother stopped me with a hand on my forearm.
"I'm glad you got to meet him. He needs a friend right now. Please, stay for dinner." She looked at me with pleading eyes, and really, how could I refuse?
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"...so we just started running. We knew we'd get our asses kicked if we got caught. We threw the clothes to some greenhorn and just kept running. We never did get caught." Edwin was telling stories about his time in Germany at the dinner table, and we were all rolling with laughter.
"I can't believe you didn't get caught!" I marveled.
"I can't either! I thought for sure I was dead." He laughed. Seeing him laugh was like waking up in the morning and seeing nothing but clear blue sky. You felt warm, comfortable, and extremely lucky that you got to witness it. I had no intentions of controlling my emotions, though I knew what was to come.
There was jokes, laughing, good food and good music. 5 o'clock suddenly turned to 9:30 and it had felt like minutes had passed.
"My goodness! I'd better be going. I've got to get up early in the morning. Thank you so much for the lovely supper and for the conversation." I hurriedly expressed my gratitude whilst grabbing my coat.
"Here, I'll walk you home." Edwin offered. Of course, I let him.
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"You know, my mother is quite fond of you. Every letter, she would tell me about you. She thinks of you almost like a daughter. It's funny, sometimes I wonder if she has plans for us." He smiled as we walked. I nearly stopped in my tracks.
"Us? We hardly know each other!" I scoffed, trying not to let on that I too had started making plans for us.
"Yet it feels like I've known you my entire life. Why do you think that is?"
"I have no idea, but I was thinking the same thing." I confessed.
It was wrong, I shouldn't have let him talk that way. I should've pushed him away and ran back to my house. I couldn't, though. I was too much in awe of him to guard him from me.
"Your eyes. They're pretty." He noticed, and I flushed.
"Thank you. Yours are lovely as well."
"You don't have to return the compliment to be polite. These eyes are hardened. They've seen a lot of combat, a lot of bloodshed. They're not pretty, they're cold."
"Not when you look at me. They're warm, soft. Like you're looking at a small child with a cut on her finger." At this point we had reached my door and were standing, looking at each other.
"You're beautiful. Naïve, young, and possibly a tad bit idiotic if you've caught feelings for me, but extremely beautiful. I feel this strange urge to take care of you."
"I don't need to be taken care of." I looked away, slightly annoyed. I may be 18, but I'm strong and independent. I've been through a lot and I don't need a babysitter.
"Rose, I don't think you need it. I want to do it." He took my chin in his hand, tilting my head to look at him.
"Edwin, we can't do this. We hardly know each other and I am not the kind of girl you want to be with." I pushed his hand away.
"You are. You're everything I've been looking for, right down to the eyes."
"Edwin." I pleaded.
"Tomorrow. I'm coming over tomorrow." He decided, even as a shook my head 'no'.
"I'll be here all day." I reluctantly surrendered. Might as well indulge while it lasts, right?
"I'll be here for breakfast." He stated, and turned to leave. I let him go.
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That night, I lay awake for hours. All I could think about was him. His eyes, his smile. Why was I letting myself indulge in him, when at any moment I could disappear? He was intoxicating. Even thinking about him sent my heart racing and my palms dampened every time my brain thought up an image of his smile. Knowing that I could literally vanish at any second, devastating both him and I, I should not have let it go on for a second. Yet I did. And, against my better judgement, I would continue to. My self control evaporated around him, and there was no way I was going to be able to stay away from him.
