Unpredicted Love

Chapter 2: Old Scars

I awoke lying on my back staring up at the ceiling my head racing through emotions and thoughts of what today might bring. I slept very little; constantly getting up and pacing, staring out the window into the clear night sky. Watching the fingernail shaped moon creep across the sky. Every hour moving another inch or so. I sit up and start to get ready.

I pull out my phone and check the time
8:45am I head down to the coffee shop slowly. Trying to delay reality as much as possible. I decided to walk cause it is suppose to be a nice warm day. What am I going to say to him I start to wonder. I don't even know how I feel. Part of me is angry and hurt because he just left, but I also want to just forget it all happened and go back to being best friends... Ugh! I round the corner and glance up to see my old friend standing at the front door fidgeting nervously. I am a bit surprised that he was there early, however him of all people should know not to be late. I let my eyes linger over his appearance. He has a well fitted pastel sea green v-neck on. A pair of designer shades rest on top of his head and he has snug blue jeans. He smiles as he sees me approaching.
"Morning" he says joyfully!
"Morning," I mutter back. I pull the door open and walk inside. "Morning Cameron," I say approaching the counter.
"Morning bud, be with you in a second!" He half shouts over his shoulder. "Okay the... and who is this find handsome thing today!" He says turning around seeing Isaac and eyeing him up vigorously with a giant flirtatious grin.
"Settle down Cameron, its just Isaac." I say emphasizing on his name." Cameron's expression instantly hardens into a sour disgusted look as if he had just discovered a rotten egg.
"Well well, look what the cat dragged in, unfortunately it should have been left in the dumpster where it belongs." Cameron hisses.
"Hey, now Cam try not to be so harsh," I reply.
"Fine, but if I catch you hurting him again I will hunt you down boy!" Cameron says as he sticks his finger in Isaac's face warning him.
Isaac just puts up his hands innocently.
"So, what will it be today Chris?" Cameron asks.
"Hmm, I guess the usual but make it a Grande and a cold drink instead." I reply.
"Sounds good, and for jerk?" Cameron asks in a mocking tone.
"Nothing, I'm good!" Isaac shakes his head.
"Good choice." Cameron replies spinning on his heels to get my order.
A minute later...
"Alright hun here you go!" Cameron joyfully says and hands me my drink.
"Thanks Cam talk to you later," I say
Cameron just winks back at me and starts helping the next customer.
We sit down at my the same table I always do. Unsure what to say I just sit there sipping my drink slowly. After what seemed like forever I finally say, "So what are you doing here?" I ask in a more curious but still a harsh tone.
"Honestly Chris, I am here cause of you. It's been awhile since we last talked and I feel terrible for what happened. I first of all just want to say I'm so very sorry for any pain that I caused you by leaving that day." He says.
"You have no idea how much pain you caused me!" I say raising my voice a little.
"I know, I'm really sorry for it. Just seemed like everything was crumbling apart and I had to leave. I know I should have told you but you have to understand I was scared and I felt alone after our fight. Plus I just figured you didn't care anyways." He says apologetically
"Isaac we have been friends for like our whole life, a little fight isn't going to change that." I explain.
"At the time though Chris, after you told me I wasn't sure what to think I was upset and mad at you for telling me at the time." He says.
I can feel tears building up.
"I need to go to the bathroom I'll be back." I say excusing myself. I get up and rush into the bathroom before the tears start pouring out.
"FUCK!" I say. Why is he doing this to me, why is he here and stirring up the past again. Tears are rushing down my face now.

**FLASHBACK**
*click click*
I rapidly text Isaac:
"Hey, meet me at the bridge this evening after the ceremony I got to tell you something."
**SEND**
*buzz*
ISAAC: Sounds good!

That Evening...

I see Isaac approaching the bridge and I smile. I'm finally gonna get this off my chest. I hope I'm doing the right thing.
"Hey," I call out waving my hands.
"Hey bud, what's up?" He replies as he approaches.
"Not much its a nice evening out." I say getting nervous.
"It sure is...what's wrong Chris?" He asks concerned.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Your nervous." He says.
"No I'm not." I blurt out a little to quick.
"Chris you can't fool me. Besides your avoiding eye contact which only happens when your nervous about something. So come on tell me." He says.
"Isaac, promise me we'll still be friends, no matter what?" I ask.
"Chris, I'll always be your friend no matter what happens okay, now tell me what's on your mind." He reassures me.
"Isaac..., I'm gay..." I say quietly staring at the ground.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Of course I'm sure!" I yell at him.
"But how, I mean have you done anything?" He asks confused.
"No, but I know cause...cause I..." I stutter and my voice gets all shaky. "I have feelings for you Isaac..." I look up at him now waiting for his reaction. He just blankly stares right past me.
"Isaac...?" I say
"Chris, I got to go okay." He turns to walk away.
"Wait Isaac please don't leave, I'm sorry, I just thought you should know." I call out. I run after him. I reach to grab his shoulder, he twists around and shoves me hard. I stumble backwards and land in the dirt. My vision is blurred by the tears. I wipe them away and he is gone. I just sit there in the gravel road pulling my knees to my chest clutching them so tight my arms go numb. I begin to cry out of anger and frustration. I just sit there hoping that this is just a bad dream and that I will wake up...

*squeek*

The bathroom door swings open and I am brought painfully back to reality. I stare at myself in the mirror. What am I doing? I turn the nob on the sink and let the water warm up. I stick my hands underneath letting the warm water rush over my skin. I cup my hands together replicating a bowl shape. The water is filling up quickly then it starts to pour over my hands. I quickly close my eyes and  lift it to my face and let it splash on to my skin. I can feel the warm water dripping off my face as it loses it's temperature it starts to feel cool. I grab some paper towels and dry my face. Just before I reached for the door I turn my head back over my shoulder and look into the mirror capturing the moment and storing it to memory. At the time I didn't realize that it would be the very last memory of a life I would never have again...

I head back to the table and I notice Isaac is gazing out the window with an expression of concern and fear. His hands rest intertwined on top of the table as his thumbs fidget. As I walk closing the distance between me and the table I see his left leg bouncing rapidly out of control as if it has a mind of it's own. I approached the table quietly and sat down on my chair again.

Along silence reigns over us...

"Isaac, why did you come here. Honestly," I say in a soft tone finally breaking the silence.
Isaac turns and looks at me straight in the eye. I look back at him. I can sense his fear as I follow his eyes shifting from side to side as he tried to make a decision.
"Chris, I think I am in love with you." He says very quietly.
"WHAT!?" I exclaim! Slamming my hands onto the table as I stand over the table now.
"WHAT THE HELL! What right do you have to come here after three long fucking years and claim you love me and fuck up my life!?" I yell back. I don't wait for him to reply I head for the door slamming it behind me. Seconds later Cameron bursts through the door.
"Chris! What happened?" He asks grabbing my arm. I try to pull away but he tightens his grip and pulls me towards him.
"Chris tell me what did he say to you?" He asks again. Suddenly Isaac rushes through the doors and approaches us.
"Leave him alone! Can't you see he doesn't want you around!" Cameron scolds him.
"What did you say to him?" He demands
"I...I... Just said that I have feelings for him." He mutters.
Cameron lets go of me and marches directly towards Isaac.
"So breaking his heart once isn't good enough for you huh! You got to come waltzing back here and hurt him all over again!" Cameron says raising his voice.
"What are you talking about?" Isaac asks confused.
"How stupid are you?" Cameron asks. "He had strong feelings for you, you idiot! Then you just got up and left him after he basically flat out confessed his attraction to guys more specifically you!" Cameron exclaims!
"Is this true Chris?" He ask.
I begin to cry upset and confused. I sit down and bury my face in my lap as I wrap my arms around my legs and pull them close just like the day of the fight. I begin to cry harder wanting it all to just stop. I feel a gentle hand on my back. It moves slowly up and down gently.
"Chris, I had no idea you were referring to me when we had the fight. I'm so sorry that I hurt you so much. I understand now. I don't want to hurt you anymore so I'm gonna go okay. I'm really sorry for what I did but I won't ever hurt you again. I'll leave you alone. Good bye Chris."
Then I feel his arms wrapping around my body. His arms are pulling me in a deep embrace. Unsure what to do I stay still. The tears stop pouring out and a sense of relief starts to fill my body as the warmth encases my body. His arms tighten around me and I feel like I am safe. But then his grip loosens and the warmth begins to fade and I am lost in my own world again left empty.
"Please don't leave!" I blurt out.
"What?" Isaac asks.
"Please don't leave!" I repeat.
Did I really just say that? Unsure if I am still in control of my body I just sit there silent.
Confused both Cameron and Isaac they just stand there not sure what to do.
"I got to go back to work Chris, just holler if you need anything okay?" Cameron says opening the door to head back inside. I just nod my head not wanting to risk opening my mouth again. Isaac just continues to stand there. Finally he sits down besides me quietly.
"We should go for a walk, it seems we have a lot to talk about." I mumble not lifting my head.
"I agree," he replies.