A Series of Accidental Happenings

3: As Subtle As A Beached Whale In A Parking Lot

The third mistake was talking to my mother before my father.

My father had always been the rational one in their relationship, which was evident even when they had began dating back in high school. Let's just say, anytime she got a bad grade on a test, for example, my dad always made sure to stand by the unfortunate teachers room and pluck the baseball bat (or other weapon of choice) from her hands before she could beat the person to unconsciousness. 

I loved my mom, I really did, but she tended to overreact just a little bit.

And by a little, I mean a lot.

"I'm suing the hospital and that boy," she stated, finality in her voice. I inwardly groaned and smacked my forehead, successfully gathering Wilson's attention. My mom's oh-so-wonderful solution was in a response to telling her that I was in a small accident.

I was currently laying on the hospital bed with my phone up to my ear. I'd been talking to her for all of 30 seconds, which was all it took for her to lash out. Wilson was sat in the corner of the room, enjoying the view of the window from a small chair, a small smirk playing on his face.

"Mom, why in the world would you sue the hospital!" I threw my arms up, exasperated, seeing Wilson trying to contain a laugh. He probably thought my mom was insane. While not wrong, he had no idea that she would actually go through with this.

Another fun fact: no one actually knew I was rich.

I was never one for being treated differently, at least by way of my status. Unlike most, I never really embraced the lifestyle my parents lived. I wanted to grow up like a normal kid, without being able to get everything they wanted at the drop of a hat. Weird, I know. Any sane person would have taken it and run, but no, I just had to be different.

I had managed to keep my secret for the past 18 years. 'Well, almost...'

I had no doubt in my mind that my mother was already on the way the second she found out where I was. I could ask her to try and stay as, humble, as possible, but she was never great at being subtle about her stature.

Oh, who am I kidding. She's as subtle about it as a beached whale in a parking lot.

"Why would I sue them? Didn't you say it took them ten minutes to get to you? You should be asking why I wouldn't sue them!" my mother yelled, her voice getting louder with each word. By the end of her spiel, I was holding the phone away from my ear, slightly wincing.

"Look, mom, we'll talk about this when you get here. How far away are you?"

"Not ten minutes, that's for sure," she grumbled, and I could imagine her crossing her arms. Honestly, she was more of a child than I was.

"Mom, stop being childish."

"Fine, I'm about three minutes away."

"Okay, I'll talk to you then," I responded, sighing. I pressed the red end button and put my head in my hands. Why couldn't I just have a normal mom, one who doesn't overreact to everything? Is that too much to ask?

When my mom walked in five minutes later, I realized that yes, it was.

As soon as the door slammed open, Wilson's head snapped up, but I just looked down, not even needing to see the beast to know it was here. I opted for pinching the bridge of my nose instead, letting a breath escape through my lips. 'Here we go...'

My mom walked in, her bright red Chanel purse dangling from her forearm, diamond Rolex on her wrist, Dolce sunglasses perched on the top of head, and Phil, our lawyer, in tow.