Pulse

Thoughts

NARRATORS POV
Scarlet had to start school immediately.  A few days after they move in Scarlet has to go to school. She is attending a very expensive catholic school called Saint rise of Lima. Scarlet grew up being Catholic. Every Sunday her family would go to mass and sing in the coir. Scarlet didn't know if she believed in God though. How is there a person living up in the sky where all the dead souls go to? How did he create earth? There are many questions she has that will probably never be answered.

They turned on the street where their house is. They pulled up in front of the great huge tealish house with a beatifull lawn and the nicest flower beds. "Doesn't it look nice scar? I figured you would like it because it's only about a block from the school so u can walk everyday." Said Lisa. " ya mom, because every morning at 7:30 walking is the only thing I wanna do.." Said scarlet. She always got little attitudes to her mom. Her mom always yelled at her so she just learned to not really like her that much. "Scarlet where not doing that here, this is our new home and we are getting a fresh start" said Lisa " idc whatever" scarlet mumbled as she walked into the house. There was a huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling and lace curtains every where. Scarlet ran upstairs to go pick her room. She picked a room and went inside. There was already a bed in the room, but besides that it was completely empty. She hopped on the bed and drifted of into a deep sleep.

SCARLETS POV
I tried not to think of them. Tried not to remember the lowest part in my life. So much was going on but no one understood. No one understands half the stuff I am going through. I am sitting in the corner of my room sobbing. I do this often. Some people may thing I am weak. But compared to some people and how they would react in my situation I am strong as hell.

Why are people mean. Like what is going  through there head whenever they make fun of someone. Do they enjoy it? Do they enjoy being so mean that I actually want to die. I want to leave this world because of you. It's all your fault. I just want wanted to die. I still want to die.

Ya know how people wake up they feel like there falling or something. That's how I woke up. Except not because I thought I was falling but because I thought I was dying.

When I fall asleep those kind of dreams happen often. At my old school I wasn't very liked. Ya know when u have friends but like when your friends are not around they talk shit about you and call you names? No because they aren't your friends. But at my old school I had people I associate with like that. Eventually it turned to them not talking shit behind my back but right in front of me. It was like it didn't even matter that I was being called a slut, fat, ugly, ect,ect to them. 'She Dosnt care. How about we ruin her life by  bullying her' well great job. You accomplished you goal

You wanna know what the worst part was about being bullied. That no one knew about it. I never told my parents, my best friend Jordan, or my boy friend jake. I was to scared to tell them. I knew they would over react and do something I didn't want them to do like make it into a huge deal. But little did I know it was a huge deal. I sit and wonder. Why didn't I think crying every single night wasn't a big deal? Oh and slitting your wrist, that's no biggy.

When I think of those thoughts it makes me hate myself more and more. I am so stupid. I Could of just told someone.

I already hate myself. I know I am ugly ass disappointment but please. Don't make me hate myself more.

I hope out of Bed and walk to the bathroom. I really hope this year is gonna me different.

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Hey I know this part of the book is pretty slow right now but I promise it will get better. I hope your enjoying so far. :)