Stand by me~ Emison

Dear Emily,

Now there's only one Letter left.
I Know that Emily will be hurt the most and that she won't be reachable for me after that, but I need to do this now.

'Dear Emily,
you are probably wondering why I sent you a Letter and I need you to keep reading after I told you the reason, Okey ?
I'm going to leave Rosewood for good today, Emily.
I Know that I've hurted you the most when i did it a few years ago& I Know that I'll hurt you the most this Time.
But Emily i can't stay here, my love for you is making it impossible for me to stay, with you totally ignoring them.
And A Sent me those horrible horrible messages, so I just can't stay. I thought it was Paige, but I don't Know if she still is it.
You are the most beautiful and talented Girl I've ever had the pleassure of meeting.
You are so nice, Kind and adorable.
You are everything that I am not and that makes you to such a good Person and tbh i'm not mad that you don't want to be with someone as horrible as me, I get that.
But i hate myself and my life so much for being the Person who I am, for being a Person who will never reach you.
And i hate my life for not being allowed, according to A, to fight for you.
I can't live in a world where I'm afraid to close my eyes because I think A might be standing in my room holding a knife to my neck or something.
I'm not doing what I am going to do because of you, is that clear?
Emily Fields, I don't want you, or the Girls, to feel guilty.
I Love you, Emily.. i Love you so freaking much& I'm so sorry how I treated you in the past. So one Last thing, your feelings for me back then, they really weren't one sided!!!. These kisses weren't just for practice and i wish I would've told you by then already and I wish I would have made you believe me when I told you about it at the Kissing Rock a few weeks ago.
I wish we would have been to Paris.

I Love you & you'll forever be in my Heart, because YOU are my Heart.
May we meet again.
Ps: go visit our spot sometime, yea?
Alison. '

When i finally wrote the letter for like an hour I tried to calm down because i sobbed the whole Time.