The Devil I Face.

Two.

I re-adjust myself with help of the island and put both my hands on his cheeks. He looks away as a tear falls from the corner of my eye.

"Aden you can't save me, don't you think I tried. Tell me why do you love me? What's makes me so different from other girls? Why?" Before he could answer I continued "You just think you love me because I am your first. In a month you will go off to college, find new girls and can forget all about me".
"When you broke my heart blue" he took a pause "you lost the right to tell me what i can or can't do". He removes my hands from face.
"You know when i saw alison tonight coming in your room, I thought you had moved on. I won't lie It felt like someone has ripped my heart out but there was this satisfaction that you had let me go."

"Oh god stop screwing with my head. Blue when I said I love you I meant it, there is no one who could replace you in my heart. No one." he moves near me and I could feel the air released from his month.

"Aden let me go, it's been five months already". The words come out of my mouth in a hush tone.
"You never really gave me an answer to why you broke us up?" He sincerely asks.

"I ..i ...i..." "You don't even have an answer do you?" he moves a bit forward making me step a bit back. "You broke my heart, started smoking the one thing you said you will never do, don't even get me started on your intake of alcohol there is no party ever since we broke up you haven't been trashed at. Now that you are here give an answer why you behave like the one who got dumped when you dumped me. Why?" by now my back was pressed on a wall.

"I dumped you not for me but for you, Aden you don't know what i am going through these weird feeling, they are taking over my actions. Leaving you was one of the biggest mistake of my life but it was the right thing to do. You would have dumped me eventually" he is closer than he should be, don't know about him but i am sure as hell fighting my urge to kiss him.

"Why would i dump you?" he asked.
"So, you would have loved this person i have become? You would have accepted me like this?" my voice changes, one could feel the angry in my voice as I say "You can't even look into my eyes, so ashamed of what i have become. I can see the disappointment in your eyes everyday when you cross me in hall". He is taken aback but immediately recovers.
"I love you and all your colors even the darkest one. You say I am ashamed? no but yes i am disappointed in you. I know you" he places is hands on my shoulder "you are not this person, and whatever this thing is we can fixed it". I remove his hands in anger. "That's the thing aden what if i don't wanna be fixed, what if this is who i am, what if this is how everything was supposed to end up and what if there is no going back". I asked what I have been meaning to asked for a long time "would you still love me the same?"

"I would have and still do. My love for you hasn't changed a bit". I could hear the sincerity in his voice but "I hear you, yet i can't make myself believe you would actually do that, be by my side". I said.

"You don't trust me?".
"I don't trust you Aden more like my brain doesn't allow me. I can hear you saying you love me and you will stand by me and what not but logically you can't end up with me. I am not enough.."

"who the hell decided you are not enough for me?" he kindda shouts.

"I did myself, from my understand of this world i am never going to be that perfect".

"I don't want perfect blue" he takes a pause "i want you. It's always about you, how you laugh,how you eyes get small when you don't understand something or when you nostril inflate when you get angry. I love the way you are i don't want you to change".

"You don't understand.." tears falling down my cheeks "I don't love the way i am, i know i should but i don't, this life feels like curse Aden. Me like this is the only way I can escape the reality of being me. A life where nothing makes sense and most of all you loving me. I hear you telling me these things but.."

"Me loving you might not make sense but i do and i am not going to let you go this easily. you have builded a castle around for heart, and this castle for yours is the one that doesn't trust me not you, because when this trust gets broken it will completely destroy you" He takes a step forward and his index finger touches my temple "This is not who you are this just you are saving yourself from that heartbreak by taking everything in control". He places his hand behind my neck and my head automatically rests on his chest like second nature. "I shouldn't have come" i whisper to myself. We stand in the position for a while it feels like home. Aden is my home even if don't wanna admit it out loud but my heart know it. But these is wrong the longer I stay the harder its going to be to leave him. With that thought I push him and say "I should go" as I walk towards the front door. "wait, stay please" is holds my right hand as I jerk it off.

"No I should go, this has gone too far".

"What's the worst that can happen" he asks.

"I'll hurt you" I reply as he walks towards me and there is just one step distance left.

He looks into my eyes and says "I am already hurt". Oh shit.