The day I died

Try Again

At first it was hard watching such a happy person fall so hard. It was harder being unable to do anything about it. Then that one day where I could get across to him, that was the best day of my dead life. 

Since Damon's disconnection with the world ended up being for so long, it was challenging for him to get back up on his feet and be the person he once was. I had faith in him. He just was lacking faith in himself. 

As the weather grew warmer so did Damon. Now knowing that I was still at his side brought him back to a relieved state. He visited my parents, his parents, and our friends. All of whom saw his improving mental state and were just as comforted as me to know he had alleviated. 

The hardest part of all this was joining studies and classes once more. Apart from being behind by at least two months work, he also had trouble getting his grade standard back to what it once was. Even trying to reassure him didn't make any change to his new bitter attitude. 

What hurt me the most was seeing the change in his expressions. Before the accident he had the biggest, brightest smile with beautifully shimmering, wondrous eyes. Now all I saw was a pained and tired attempt at a smile and cold eyes. He was lacking personality. 

"Damon. Your newest piece is so detailed! I'm so proud of you!" I used enthusiastically trying to move forward and embrace him. Instead I moved through him. He just sighed deeply before pulling his lips into that forged smile. 

"Thanks." He replied barely moving his dim eyes away from the light of the laptop screen. I stood there for a moment and a sickening feeling filled up my stomach. What would have been my stomach. 

One more sigh erupted from Damon before his tired eyes slid closed. He looked peaceful only when his eyes were closed. Which made the churning feeling worsen. 

"Okay you need to get some sleep." I whispered to him, not that anyone else would have heard me. His hand slammed the laptops screen down and his stood up in a rushed motion almost loosing balance. 

"Be careful!" I fearfully yell at him. 

His head turns gradually around to where I stand. To him I'm just a voice, but a voice with direction. He has a clenched jaw and balled up fists. 

"Wouldn't it be easier if I just killed myself?!" He aggressively asked. "It would make everything so much easier!" He screamed at me while looking through me. The uncomfortable feeling that rested in my lower stomach now reached it's peak. 

"You can't do that Damon." I calmly replied. 

"Why not huh?!" He threw the pen that dug into his hand across the room with great force. "You're already with me but I can't see you. I don't even know if it's really you or just my mind going crazy." It was at these words that a wet feeling began gathering in my eyes. 

We both didn't speak a word just stared at each other. Well, I stared at him while he tried starring at me. The previous words bouncing off the walls in the small room. 

"You have to trust I'm real." Those were the only words I was able to give him. 

"God. I've lost it haven't I? I'm just talking to myself." His words weren't angry anymore, just sad. He fell back onto his bed and curled up. "I just wish you were here." Tears stung my eyes as he laid and wept silently. 

"I wish you could see me like I see you. Maybe then you'd believe I'm really still here, and here for you." I whispered to him before trying to kiss him on the cheek. 

"Did you just kiss me?" He asked slightly surprised. 

"You felt that?" I asked in the same amazed state as him. He nodded his head while still laying down. 

"It was just a cool feeling on my cheek." His lips twitched up for a moment. "Have you kissed me more than once?" He asked a bit more smugly. 

"Don't be like that!" I turned away from him. "I may have done it a few times." I finished a lot quieter than the previous sentence. 

Warmth surrounded my waist. I turned to look back at Damon but he was what created the heat. His eyes were wet with tears and his grip was strong. This time our eyes actually connected and he wasn't looking through me. 

"You're so beautiful." He spoke against my back. The warm air hitting my body. A wet filling was then on my face. "I'm sorry for not trusting you." His hold became even more firm.