Rosie

Peter

Why, God? Why us? Why did you choose my family to go through this? We are innocent. Okay, yeah, we have some flaws... But so does every other family. We work out our issues every time they arise. Now two of us are dead. Thanks. Couldn't you have at least spared one of them? I never got to say goodbye.

The last time I talked to my wife we argued. If I would have known that would be the last time I would ever speak to her, I would have grasped her hands so tightly in mine and told her how much her love meant to me and how grateful I was to have spent the past 18 years with her. I would have turned on her favorite song and we would have slow-danced in the kitchen for hours. I would have risked everything for her.

I wasn't on the best terms with Rosie when she passed either. She stayed out past curfew a few nights before the accident. I took her phone and I still have it. She wouldn't even tolerate being in the same room with me. Man, if I would have known... I would have given her her phone back along with the entire world. I would have done anything for her if I knew she was to be taken away from me in a couple days.

I still can't wrap my mind around all this. They're really gone. I will never be able to attend one of Rosie's gymnastics meets again. Never again will I be able to run my hands through Laura's hair, kiss her on the cheek and whisper,
"I love you,"
in her ear. Nope. All of that is gone. I no longer have any emotion other than regret.

As much as I want to comfort Tim, as much as he needs a father figure in his life now more than ever before, I don't know if I can. I'm his dad. I have to act strong, and I need to show him that we can get through this. I'm worried that if I try to talk to him about it, I won't stay tough. That will cause him to become even more depressed than he already is, and push us even further apart. I think I should just give him a little space.

I wish we would have given them better funerals. I wish we would have traveled more. Why couldn't we have been one of those families who go on road trips around the country and keep a photo album with thousands of photographs to show off to family and friends? We rarely ever traveled as a family. I go on plenty of business trips with my job, but I never thought to bring them. I guess I just wish we had more memories, and that I gave Rosie a better life and Laura a better marriage.

It just sucks so bad that it was us. This is the type of disaster you read about in the community newspaper and think,
"Wow. This is awful.."
But you never imagine it would ever happen to you. Until it does. I feel as though I'm dreaming, and every morning when I wake up I wonder if this is really real or if it's some type of simulation that everyone undergoes at some point in their life to see how gullible they are. It all feels so surreal. Is this all fake? If so, I will pay any price to see them again.