Forgotten

Erin

Man, Erin, what can I say about Erin? Well honestly I have a lot to say about Erin. When I first met her she reminded me a lot of my sister who is in heaven now. Erin always seemed so depressed. Now one thing you have to understand about me is have a real soft spot for people who are dealing with depression. This is because my sister Stephanie dealt with it her whole life and I was always trying to find ways to make her feel better. It may sound weird to say, but I have become addicted to the feeling of helping other people. Something about helping people who are dealing with depression brings me at ease.
I wanted to help Erin the best that I could. Erin and I became really close and she ended up calling me big bro. She really thought of me as her big brother. That made me feel good about myself, it made me feel important. Whenever Erin needed something she came to me for advice, I was always ready to help her. Things did get rough for many reasons. One, she was dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, and me on the other hand I was dealing with my addiction and depression. So sometimes I found it hard to help Erin when I was dealing with my already shitty life, but when it came down to it, I put everything I was dealing with on the back burner and helped her out. I was there for her when she felt like cutting, and the day she messaged me and told me she was 2 months clean from cutting I was so proud of her.
As much as I like to think I helped Erin, Erin also helped me. She gave me kind words of support when I was dealing with my addiction, she also gave me hope when I wanted to off myself, so in many ways Erin helped me. Erin and Molly were best friends so talking to them both was pretty fun, and getting to know them was pretty fun. They were best friends but each of them had very different personalities. Erin was more sad and gloomy and Molly she was sad but dealt with it differently, she tried thinking about the positive stuff, which that is one of the things I liked about Molly.
As I mentioned before, as time progressed forward I didn't talk to Molly as much, and the same happened with Erin. Molly would talk speratically over the course of a few months, but Erin just stopped talking to me completely. It hurt for many reasons. One, I thought I actually meant something to them, and two, them leaving showed I really didn't mean anything.
One day I had a really rude awakening. It was the day I realized I'm not nearly as important as I thought I was. After about 5 months went by of me not talking to either Erin or Molly, I decided to message each of them. To mollybi just wrote "Hey Molly." And to Erin I wrote. "Hey lil sis, I don't know if you remember me or not, but just know if you ever need anything, I'm just a message away."
Molly just replied with hey. I just took the conversation from there; I asked her how was she doing and you know, normal everyday talk. And then I said, "I don't think Erin likes me anymore." And she said, why do not think that. So I said, "because she doesn't talk to me anymore. Then that's when Molly replied with.
"Michael we are growing up now, this isn't like when we were younger and needed you for everything. We have more important things in our life going on than to be worried about you. You shouldn't have expected us to need you forever we grow up and move on. That's life so get use to it buddy."
I'm not gonna lie, those words they cut deep, and they hurt me pretty bad, but it was at that moment I realized maybe she was right, I had to stop pretending like I really impacted people's life and made a difference, because at the end of the day I'm just a person no specialer than any other human being walking.