Honestly, I hate how I live. I want to change completely. I'm tired of hiding my emotions everyday with a smile that hasn't been real for a long time. I've felt the urge to just cry a lot lately and when people ask me how I am there are a lot of times lately that I've hated myself for needing someone to be happy. I don't want to rely on other people to be okay.
I hate "how are you?" being just a conversation. I hate how people use it to get people's business. I hate feeling guilty about telling people how I actually feel.
I'm done being put down by people I used to be good friends with. I don't like how they think they're hilarious for teasing me and making me feel like I'm not important. I hate being a joke. I hate the immaturity of half the people I know. I hate knowing how depression feels and having almost everyone think I'm 100% okay.
But what I really cannot understand is how I get with people I like/love. I hate getting attached like I do. I hate getting hurt. I hate how no one knows why I'm really like this.
I've lost a lot of people I love or loved and trust or trusted. They either think they know what I need or decide they can't be here anymore and leave everyone... forever.
I can't stand this world. The very few people I trust are what keep me 'sane'. People think it's a joke to be gay, and that it's okay to tell someone to kill themselves. I have been in that situation, it isn't a joke.
03.16.16
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Teenage Girl Problems
RandomSOOOO....... I would recommend that only girls and girly guys read this. I will be ranting a bit in here and something's will be suggestions or problems I'm having lately. Yeah... Adiós Lovelies.
