You, Me and Baby- A Cristiano Ronaldo Story

Chapter 80- So Peaceful

  The door shut behind her and Molly rested her the back of head against the door. "Are you ready to go?" Jorge asked as he approached her making Molly jump a little. She was expecting him to be here. She had been texting him all morning that she was ready to leave but she never expected him to be here.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm taking you to your hotel. And no arguing about it" he said taking the bag from her hands. "Jorge" Molly said. "You shouldn't have texted that you were leaving then" he smirked. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Are you sure you're ok to leave?" he asked. "Yes. I just want to get out of here" Molly replied. "Well your stuff is at the hotel. I booked a flight for Manchester as well. You don't have to go on it. And when you have decided where you're going next I'll book the flights" he said. "Jorge you don't have to do that. I can do that myself" Molly said as the reached his car. "But I'm going to" he smiled opening the car door for her.

After a short and silent car ride, Jorge pulled his car up at the side of the hotel. "You don't have to come in with me. I can find my own way" she said. "Call me later" he said holding out her room key card. "Jorge" Molly said trying to take the card from his fingers. "Call me later or I'm coming with you now" he said. "Fine. I'll call you later. Jezz have you always been this annoying?" she muttered.

"You're one to talk" he smiled. "Thanks Jorge" she said. "I haven't done anything" he shrugged. "Yes you have" she said tapping his wrist. She moved to open the door when he grabbed her hand. "He will look take care of him" Jorge said. He knew this couldn't be easy for Molly. It wasn't easy for him not to mind her he thought.

"Goodbye Jorge. I hope you have a good life" she said leaving the car.

The tears flowed the second the hotel door shut behind her. She had actually done it. She had actually walked away from her son. She shook her head. "He's not my son" she whispered. She had to keep telling herself that a lot. Even more since she had held Junior for the first time.

She walked slowly to the bed and placed her bag on top of the covers. She looked around the room. Her eyes stopping on the mirror. Just her she thought. She was on her own now. Until she saw her parents anyway. She didn't know why she was going to Manchester but she had to see her parents in person. She needed to know they were ok. Everything she had done had been for them. To protect them. Everything she had lost she thought as she scrolled through her phone contacts. Jorge, Katia, Cris, Ana, Sergio all the names she'll never need again. She had gotten used to having people around her during the last year.

It was suddenly dawned on Molly that she was really on her own again. She was never a person who made friends easily. Sure she was friendly with people but she hadn't developed close friendship during her life. Except for Sarah of course. Sarah was probably her only real friend and she was lying to her.

Maybe she would go to San Francisco to visit Sarah, Molly thought. But would she be able lie to her face.

She switched of her phone. This time yesterday she was breastfeeding Junior for the first time she thought hugging herself with her arms.

"I've really done it" she whispered. She opened her bag and pulled out a white blanket. She took it in her hand and closed her eyes. She could picture him wrapped up in it. She could picture how she felt when his tiny weight was on her body. She brought the blanket to her nose and choked backed a sob.

It smelt like him. It smelt like that beautiful baby boy. "Oh God. How could I do this?" she cried out as she stretched out on the bed with the blanket close to her. "I'm such a horrible person. Who could do this?" she cried. Her body hurt. Her head hurt. But the hurt in her heart was the most painful.

"I can't do it. I can't see him grow up in pictures on the web" she cried. "How can I see him and know how much of a horrible person I am" she cried to herself.

Molly continued to cry until she finally fell asleep. By the time she blinked her eyes open, the room was pitch black. "You silly girl" she muttered having hoped it had all been just a dream. She really had given her baby away. She flicked on the bedside lamp and swung her legs off the side of the bed slowly. He body ached. Her breast were sore.

She wrapped the blanket to her chest and smelt it again. He'd be due a feed soon she thought. She headed to the bathroom and turned the bath on. She needed to wash the past few days away. Then everything will be ok she thought staring into the bathroom mirror. She wasn't like her parents. She had made a promise and had followed through with it.

She had meant what she said at the hospital. She would never regret having him. How could she regret having such a beautiful boy? She'd learn to live her life she thought. "I have no choice" she whispered. Her attention flicked to the water filling in the bath and she begun to take her clothes of. The pain would go Molly thought. It had to. "I should have held him longer" she cried gripping the sink.

"Arrr" she screeched out as she lifted one leg over the side of the bath. Once her whole body was settled she rested her head against the back of the bath. The warmth around her body felt good. The aching of her body was easing away as the water covered her body. She shut her eyes and placed her hands on either side of the bath. It was so peaceful she thought. All her pain was drifting away. She could stay like this forever she thought.

She wanted peace. Outside of the bath was only pain.

The pain from her body. The pain of her heart. The water felt so nice. Having no pain felt better. Too much pain she thought and her mind filled with memories of the past 72 hours.

How she thought she'd never give birth? How she thought she couldn't do it. The image of the baby been held in the air. His smell. His touch. The image of Cristiano holding him. She couldn't think about it.

The silence was peaceful. No one but her was here. So peaceful she thought as her head slipped further down the bath.

"So peaceful" she mumbled as her arms came away from the sides of the bath and her head sank further until she was completely submerged.

Submerged in peace.