What Goes Around, Comes Around

One

(I promise it's not that cliché)
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"Those who are heartless once cared to much"

Isabella

Looking from above, New York could possibly be the most breathtaking city I've ever seen. Though it's true that I haven't seen many beautiful cities, but scratch that.

The buildings were towering. The streets felt like home to me. The city lights resembled a starry sky and it was absolutely beautiful. I felt like I belonged in that place. It felt like a dream.

Unfortunately, dreams don't last very long and everyone is always pulled back into their harsh realities.

Sigh

I checked my laptop and according to the time, there was three hours to go before the plane landed back in dreadful Virginia. I'd do anything to stay away from that place forever. Anything.

Okay, okay, maybe not anything, but anything besides homicide is a good call. It's not that I felt antagonized by  Virginia itself, it's just that sometimes people tended to stay away from places that held memories; memories they wanted to relinquish. I wanted to relinquish.

And that's why ladies and gentlemen, I decided to spend the last month of summer vacation in New York City partying it up with my party girl cousin. Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed it. Usually I'm not a 'go out every night and socialize' type of person, but heartbreak changes people.

For a a month and a half, I was dragged to concerts and disco clubs, amusement parks and movies. I did countless of reckless things I would've never had done had I been the Isabella back in Virginia. For a month and half, I did everything I could to not let myself drown in self pity over a douche bag that couldn't care less about me.

But of course feelings aren't optional. I can't just wake up and un-love someone. No, it doesn't work like that. Heartache isn't a one or two day thing; it says with you forever and it haunts you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Every night before you close your eyes, you wonder what you ever did wrong to be treated that way. To throw your heart out to someone only to have it tossed back to you ripped like an old rag doll.

I began asking myself if the midnight trips to McDonald's really mattered to him.

Or if the rainy days stayed curled up on his bed, just us two, watching Netflix, meant as much to him as he said it did.

It took me a while to get off my depressed ass and take in the beauty of New York. Once I saw the potential in having the best summer of my life, my cousin made sure I enjoyed the city as much as she did.

And now, I have to leave my safe haven.

A loud gurgle pulled me out of my mind. I glanced over at the bald man sitting across the aisle from me. He looked like he was about to spew.

As if on cue, bald man gurgled once again but this time yellow vomit came out as well. I instantly smelled the disgusting scent of rotten eggs. Gross. I plugged my nose hoping to reduce to stench. After a few minutes, one of the flight attendants came over and cleaned up the bald man's throw-up.

Thank God for flight attendants.

She helped the poor guy to the bathroom and oh dear, did he look sick. I checked the time again and was relieved. Thirty minutes meant there wasn't a big possibility of having to endure another stomach-twisting stench of puke. In a half an hour, I'll be off this plane and in a car with my mom driving back to good ol' Cadence Town.

Can you hear my sarcasm?

But no matter how much I despise going back to Cadence, I will return if it means frying a jerk's sorry ass.

***

I loathe the beginning and ending of airplane rides. Whenever my ears pop due to the pressure change, I get irritated.

I grunted and got out of my seat to grab my suitcase. As if it wasn't all already bad enough, the bald vomit man started shoving people to get to his belongings. I was one of the people shoved.

After nearly fifteen minutes, I finally got off the plane. As I walked through the gate, I could see my mother running towards me.

"Oh Bella, how I missed my sweet sweet daughter," she said as she pulled me into a big hug. "I missed you too mom," I replied. "Let's get home so we can have some of your delicious spaghetti and meatballs," I winked at her.

"Darling, you bet we're having mama's famous spaghetti for dinner on your night back!"

I laughed and shook my head.

I missed my mother loads when I was away. It's not that I get homesick or whatever, but because not having a person to confide in kind of stunk. My mom and I, we're tight. As tight as a mother and daughter can be and as tight as a friend and a friend. It's always been just me and her ever since my father discarded us.

Him and mom used to always fight, and I guess one day he got tired of it and disappeared. At first I felt a burning hatred for mom because I believed she was at fault for driving my oh-so-wonderful and loving father away. After seeing him swapping spit with his co-worker that looked ten years younger than him, I decided that it was him I'd hate for the rest of eternity. Ever since then, me and my mother were, you know, tight.

From the day my dad left, I started to believe that all men were asses. Before he came along.

I met him in year ninth. It was the year he first moved here to Cadence. I remember him asking to borrow a pencil during an English exam and being the nice girl I was, I lent him mine. I remember him turning around and right when I made eye contact with those emerald green eyes, I fell in love.

We started dating the beginning of junior year, and I was taking a tremendous risk knowing his formal playboy attributes. I knew I could've easily ended up like one of his ex toy dolls. At first, I felt a little suspicious of his motives because well, he was him and I was me.

Because bad boys weren't supposed to fall in love with good girls.

He led me to believe that he did, in fact, want to be with me. After we created a hundred memories together,  I thought I had changed him into someone better, someone who didn't play with others' feelings. Someone who fell in love and stayed in love.

I didn't.

The week before school officially ended was also the week I found out for the first time what heartbreak felt like.

It was also the first time I truly fathomed what my mother went through.

It occurred to me that sometimes, the best of yourself isn't qualified enough for someone else. But I also learned that one's value does not decrease based on someone else's inability to see their worth.

This boy put me through the depths of hell and back. He messed with my mentality and destroyed my self-confidence. He shattered my heart into a thousand and one pieces. He broke me.

Now I'll break him too.