Undertale

Chapter Nine - Reluctance

     Sans pressed against me. Too close. But I didn't mind it. I didn't understand. My mind was swimming with the scent of smoke and grease.

     "Your determination is what is causing the breaks in the time," he whispered, his hands moving to hold my arms. "You are what is causing the anomalies."

     "So you've...been studying me?" Something about that seemed unsettling. Sans seemed bothered by that thought as well.

     "Not exactly." He shifted uncomfortably. "I was studying the trends. Following the links. I only recently learned that it was you. And when I did..."

     He closed his eyes.

     "Please remember," he whispered. "I don't know how much longer I can keep hold of myself. All I can think about is that time line. Every time I see you, I just want to—"

     "Sans," Papyrus barked joyfully, heavy fists pounding on the door. "Are you in there? I've already went to Grillby's!"

     The magic swept from Sans's eye and he pulled back, trembling slightly. My heart pounded wildly, sweat beading on my forehead as Sans's pulled open the door.

     "Hey, bro," he said nonchalantly. The aching tone was nowhere to be found in his words. It was unsettling how quickly he could control himself. "I'm just with the kid. It's cold out there so we're just chilling in here."

     Papyrus cried out.

     "Sans! Enough with the puns!" He threw his arms above his head dramatically. "Spaghetti will be ready soon! Tell the human that she is invited!"

     I bit on my lip to suppress a chuckle as Papyrus stormed off, muttering about bad puns and lazy bones. Sans shut the door with a sigh.

     "Lively as ever," I said with a smile.

     Sans nodded, his expression darkening once more.

     It seemed out chat wasn't quite over.

     "I need you to be honest with me." He kept his distance this time, closing his eyes for a brief moment before looking me straight in the eye. "Do you not remember anything about the surface?"

     "Nothing."

     He closed his eyes, shoulders falling and I took a step toward him. Then another. And another.

     "Sans," I whispered. "You're my best friend. I may not remember but—"

     His hands curled around my waist as he pulled me close. My heart stopped, eyes widening as I felt his breath brush my face.

     "Don't." His voice was cold. "I never gave you an answer for good reason, Frisk. Don't try to force this out of me now. I don't want your sympathy. You don't love me."

     Anger built in my chest, and I dug my fingers into his shirt.

     "If I don't know that, then certainly you can't either!" I shot back. "Don't try to tell me how I feel."

     Sans grew quiet—really quiet. I shifted as much as I could before I felt his arms relax.

     "If I told you how much I wanted to kiss you, would you let me?"

     My heart skipped a bit, a deep blush heating my cheeks as I stumbled over my words. Where was this coming from?

     "I know this is out of character..." He chuckled. "But Frisk...you're too sweet. Too kind. I know you'd let me without really wanting it."

     He pulled away, scooping up his coat and threading his arms through it. I shifted awkwardly, brushing my hair behind my ear.

     "And Frisk," he went on, pressing a knuckle beneath my chin as he halted in his passing. "When you agree to it...and really want it? I swear it will be perfect."

     He dropped his hand, shouldering past me and out into the chilled, snowy night.

     It felt as if my rib cage was going to splinter open. My heart crashed against and I realized only then that I'd stopped breathing. Even my cheeks hurt with the burning blush.

     I felt dizzy—felt drunk as I walked.

     Papyrus had already finished cooking by the time I'd wandered into the house. Sans gave me a coy expression and I found myself leaning away from him—beyond embarrassed. I could feel the flame returning to my cheeks just in the way he looked at me.

     "Human!" Papyrus bellowed. "You are just in time for some of my world famous spaghetti!"

     I forced a smile, dread sinking in when I realized the only place to sit was next to Sans—on what would become the too small couch when Papyrus took his seat.

     Sans patted the cushion, grinning ear to ear. I couldn't be sure if he was being suggestive or trying to be normal.

     Disgusting.

     I jumped looking back at the door. Had that been Chara's voice?

     Sans and Papyrus didn't seem to notice. While Papyrus swept back into the kitchen, Sans rose a quizzical brow.

     I settled on the couch, as far from Sans as the tiny space would allow and he chuckled in turn.

     "Don't act so scared, kiddo," he said absently, expression focused on the television. "I'm not going to jump you. Just because you...sort of know, now. Doesn't mean things have to change."

     I grimaced, looking to him.

     "But of course, things have always been this way for me," he went on.

     I sank back into the couch. If I'd been honest with myself, there had been a time when I'd really come to like Sans—maybe even love him. But I'd never thought he'd felt the same, so I'd dismissed my feelings.

     How he felt was out—whether he'd admitted it openly or not—and now that I'd stopped lying to myself, I was becoming all too aware of Sans once again. And I couldn't have chosen a worse time.

     Chara, though mostly silent, was still I threat I didn't know the full extent of. I couldn't just play around until I figured out what her being here meant.

     I leaned into Sans a bit and felt him tense. Briefly, I caught the glimpse of pale blue across his cheekbones and smiled to myself.

     Maybe indulging a little bit wouldn't be so bad. Even if I was still learning what it really meant. With luck, maybe I would even remember our time on the Surface.

     Sans's draped an arm on the back of the couch, his hand settling slightly on my shoulder and I shrank further into the cushions.

     This was going to be a long night.