NBSB's Unrequited Love

Reasons

All your life's decisions will always have a purpose

So in my case, being NBSB is not a bad thing, after all being single is stress free and you have all the freedom to decide on your own without considering other's sake which means you are the boss of yourself, you can do anything you want, that's the perk of being single.
Freedom to choose which  foods you wanna eat, places you want to visit, hobbies you wanna do and the likes. 

Sa totoo lang I was still wondering why I was still single until now? 

When I was still young, the thing that is always on my mind is to become successful.
And that leads me to where I am right now, successful In my chosen carrier. I'm happy that I already reached one of my goals in life. And that makes me so proud of myself that I made the right decision. I've no regrets, since I got a nice and a stable job for myself, I got to buy not only the things I needed but also those things I wanted. I was able to support the needs of my family in terms of needs and wants. I was able to travel places I wanted to visit and enjoy my single life, to pamper myself with the beautiful things life may offer, those we're the few things that makes me proud of myself since I became successful with all the hardships and struggles that I encountered in life. So enjoy life to the fullest,because we only live once. 

These are the following reasons of me being NBSB, at talagang may mga rason pa akong nalalaman, first is I focused on my studies and my carrier. Next is that I haven't found the man for me and the third one is I'm afraid of commitment,  and being committed to someone, afraid to messed up my relationship with a guy. We'll perks of being NBSB. 

Di mawawala yung takot mo kasi you haven't experience anything when it comes to relationships kasi di ba all your life sanay kang mag-isa, lalo na sa pagdi-decide sa mga bagay-bagay. Sanay ka kasing sarili mo lang yung iniisip mo. 

Kaya naman siguro NBSB ako hanggang ngayon kasi I haven't conquered yet my fears of being in a relationship and too afraid to show all my flaws to guy if ever I enter a relationship. Takot akong magkamali at masaktan, I just want to guard my heart for possible heartaches and I'm not yet ready to let go being single, I'm not yet ready to take risk and to come out of comfort zone.

I used to be independent all my life, I'm a family oriented person since I grew up in a complete family but I can stand and live alone. Sanay akong mag desisyon para sa sarili ko at di para sa ibang tao. Ganito siguro yung nakasanayan kong buhay kasi average lang yung pamumuhay namin, kaya nakatatak sa isip ko na kailangan ko mag sumikap to become successful and to prove my worth to everyone and sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko I can say that all my sacrifices are all worth it.

Kaya siguro di maintindihan ng ibang tao yung sitwasyon kasi di naman sila yung nasa lugar ko. Pero may kanya-kanya naman tayong judgement eh.

And I have a greatest secret I haven't revealed yet. It is about me being NBSB, well di na bago yun pero kasi isa to sa pinkamain reason king bakit hanggang ngayon NBSB parin ako.

 
I used to love a guy secretly, sad to say that he love someone else and the saddest part is that he doesn't know that someone like me exist in this world, he knows me yes but he doesn't know anything about my feelings for him. He is an example of a perfect guy for me. He is my ideal man. Siya yung tipo ng lalake na he-has-it-all,yun bang na sa kanya na ang lahat, talented, matalino,may kaya sa buhay, gentleman, caring, sweet,affectionate, at higit sa lahat gwapo. 

Kumbaga every girls dream, yung klase ng guy na tinitilian ng marami, haaaaaaay siya yung guy na example ng PRINCE CHARMING. 

Pero wala eh, hanggang HD na lang ako sa kanya, napapansin naman niya ko kasi friends naman kami at saklap na FRIENDZONED pa ako. 

Pa simpleng hi na lang ako at ako tung si tanga pag pinansin todo kilig naman akala ko animoy kami. And the worst part is, I learn to love him secretly, my love for him is unrequited kasi di naman niya kayang suklian at wala di naman akong lakas ng loob umamin kasi di naman ganun kakapal ang mukha ko at ayaw kung makasira ng magandang relasyon. Hindi naman sa nagpapakamartir ako pero ayoko ko lang makaapak at makasakit ng damdamin ng tao lalo na sa kapwa ko babae. 

I don't have the right to hurt anyone physically or emotionally. So I chose this path, remain single and stay NBSB as long as I don't know when. 

So sinisikap kong mag move on, and slowly let go and forget my feelings for him. Wala naman akong magagawa kundi mag let go at mag move on. My life doesn't end there. I had a life to pursue. Pero kahit among gawin ko ang hirap, hirap na hirap akong mag move on sa next chapter kasi I feel so empty, I felt that I'm hanging, I don't blame him though siya naman yung reason kung bakit naging ganito ako. 

Mahirap mag let go sa bagay na walang kasiguraduhan at wala man lang closure. Yun yung mahirap sa unrequited love. Yung sinasarili mo yung sakit kasi di mo naman pwede sabihin sa kanya. At hanggang ngayon masakit pa rin sa part ko at kahit sa tagal ng panahon na pinili ko mag move on. Di pa din nawawala yung sakit eh. It will always leave a scar in my heart. I felt  hollow spaces in my shattered heart. Scars run through my heart. At kahit anong gawin ko siya pa rin yung mahal ko. Never ko siya nakalimutan and I haven't totally move on from him.
I'm stucked, totally stucked with him.

And that's the story of my Unrequited Love for the guy whom I love the most but never been reciprocated.