blunt diaries. untitled

Final Endings

Final Endings

I don't want to be your sometimes.
I don't want your counterfeit emotions or your false sincerity.
I don't want to have vast thoughts and contemplations of the possibilities and the what ifs.
I don't want to be your maybe or if I have time.

I don't want to hear how I could have been,
or the person who almost, but
wouldn't,
or
didn't,
because I'm too temporary to make permanent.

I don't want to be faithfully yours when you aren't truly mine.
I don't want to be your Spring Time.
I don't want you to bloom beautifully over me so you can forget me.

I don't want to be patient.

I don't want to protect myself from you anymore, and the fact that we live in a fantasy and then dreadfully watch you as you withdraw from me and ever-so-easily resume back into your reality like we were never.

I don't want to be your safe haven.
Don't come to me when you need saving.

Because you would have left me in a sea of my own love, drowning.

See, if it were up to me we would have been,
but,
I don't want to be yours. Anymore.