Renegade Reaper

II

Was it really?

Even now, at the solid age of twenty-five, she still asked herself the same question she had thought of six years ago in the wagon, soaking wet as she sat a foot away from dying soldiers. And yet to this day, she still remembered them, Each and every one of them, and still smiled whenever she'd have her nostalgic moments. It would be a disgrace if she ever were to forget her fallen comrades. But unlike before, it didn't affect her in such a devastating manner.
She would mourn, grieve and feel guilt of the many deaths to come, but she didn't fall too deep anymore. She didn't come to the point of questioning her morals or fall into a state of depression. As time passed, she became more resilient, more experienced. She understood why.

It was simply life. Life, as she'd put it, is like a short book. It just isn't right to remain stuck on one page instead of flipping onto the next. And as volatile and cynical as it sounded, it was a whole lot better to cling onto that belief rather than beat herself up for something that she couldn't control, no matter how hard she'd try.
That belief itself had made her accept the responsibility and duty as a soldier to carry on, no matter what. And thanks to clinging onto that belief, she now led a whole infantry of men that she had trained.

And she understood it now. They knew what they were getting themselves into. Her included. As a Captain now, she understood. The chances of dying in a battlefield were inevitable. The chances of dying and people moving on and forgetting them were also unfortunately inevitable and there was nothing they could do about it. There would always be another war, and another list of graves to prepare. It simply was life. Unfair of course, but not unbearable. Staying alive was a lot more difficult in contrast to simply being dead.

They had been marching for days, and the battlefield wasn't too far away anymore. After all those years, she figured that it wasn't something to even think about. It wasn't just a simple disagreement between beliefs. It was much farther than that. It was about taking a stand and fighting for what they believed what their country should be. Her beliefs alone was what gave her the strength to continue fighting. The enemy does not forgive and shows no mercy, no remorse to the soldiers they murder, because they think exactly the same thing; all of this is for a good cause. We're doing this for the future of our children.

Because they assume that what they believe in would be best for the future of the country. She hated war. But she knew that unfortunately, war was the only way to bring peace and determine who was the last man standing, and who had more fuel and more will to fight for what they believe in.

She could see the field now. She could also see, although from afar, The Southerners marching towards the field as well, all well equipped with their muskets held up, each and every one of them with their chins raised high, their chests puffed out in pride. Sensing their arrogant aura, she scoffed and tugged on the reins of her horse as the animal began to walk in a faster pace, as if sensing a threat. She glanced to her side and caught General Davis's gaze, as he gave her a nod of reassurance and pulled his horse's reins as well to continue staying at the same pace. The soldiers behind them had also begun to march faster, each of their eyes darting towards the approaching enemy, impatiently waiting for their impending arrival.

By the time they had reached the field, The Southern General was already awaiting General Davis, nearly twenty feet away from his army. The General turned around to give his Captain a petulant, childish grin, seeming ten years younger than his actual age. She rolled her eyes and swatted him with her hand. Now was not the right time to gloat. He turned around and pulled on the horse as it calmly began to stride towards the enemy.

Not even a full minute had passed and she had already grown slightly impatient. She craned her neck, wondering why they were taking so long. Truthfully, she admitted it herself that she had forgotten the names of nearly half of the Confederation Army because in her opinion it wasn't really much of her concern; However, Their strategies and their Tactics were. She did an attempt to remember the General's name and failed.