Anxious Jeopardies

Chapter Fourteen

Jake visited twice, once with Sophie and once without. Ana was in more pain still than she cared to admit. And, unfortunately, she was happy to see him. She missed him.

No. She didn't. She wasn't allowed to. She couldn't like him.

But she did. She liked his smiling face and his dimples and the way his hair was never brushed. She liked how he didn't take things too seriously or how everyone around him seemed to be happy. he made people happy.

She realized that she got jealous of that one nurse who was always with him. Actually, she was only jealous because he didn't try to get rid of her. Ana had no way to know that that woman was the only reason Jake was even allowed to see her.

She stayed in that stupid room cooped up for almost two weeks, tortured by his presence, but they told her not to do any strenuous activities after she went home.

Although she wasn't exactly sure where home was now that Derek had taken her apartment back.

Once she was let out, the first thing she did was go to her apartment building. When she was inside, she realized it would be her last time there, and then after a few moments of reminiscing, she took the elevator upstairs to her room and grabbed everything that was hers. It was mostly clothes, but there were a few pictures she wanted to take with her. She grabbed the money she'd been saving for most of her life.

Throwing it all into a few suitcases, she grabbed them and ran back down to the lobby. The clerk rudely asked for her key and she struggled to find it in the mass of belongings. Eventually, she did, and threw it at him.

She ran out the hotel and back into her car. She couldn't breathe, but she felt like she didn't need to. She was happy, for once. But that sudden spree of joy ended when she was in the cab and didn't know where to tell the driver to go.

Her phone lit up and she answered it, still sitting awkwardly in the cab. "Hello?"

"Where are you? They told me they discharged you. I came to pick you up."

"Oh. That was nice of you." Why did he...? "I'm, uh, at my apartment building right now. Derek was paying for my rent so I can't live there anymore," she laughed. She wasn't sure why she was laughing.

Hang up. Hang up. Hang up.

"Do you want to stay with me?" He sounded hopeful but scared. What did he want her to say? Did she want to stay with him? Yes. Of course. But should she?

No. Forget it. Hang up. He can't get mad at you if he doesn't see you ever again. Right? And what if Derek comes back? He'd never let you get near him.

You would be losing your freedom. He's so protective. You could never go back to that job. Ever. He probably wouldn't even let you get another one. Especially not in your line of work.

It's literally the only thing you've ever been good at. He won't understand. He'll never find joy in beating up grown men and saving people. No one understands. Not even Derek did.

Shouldn't you go with the person who would accept you then?

There's only one person on the list of considerations. And we've already discussed that he's not going to accept me for who I am because I'm one step away from being a kidnapper myself. I don't think he'd like that comparison. Especially not because he has a little sister. What if I was a pedophile or something?

No. You're not. He trusts you.

That's the problem! He trusts me! How could he? He barely knows me. We've only known each other for what, two weeks? We've spent, like, the cumulative time of a day together. Maybe more. But still. That's not even close to enough time. He knows nothing about me. And I can't let him find anything else out about me.

I'm too private for him. He's so open. So innocent. I mean, maybe not innocent, but compared to what I've seen...

I'm too solitary. I love being alone. I'm so much more comfortable alone. Things just make sense. There aren't variables. I'm really not good at people. Really. Can't he tell that.

Apparently not. You were good with his sister, so of course he's going to trust you.

But he goes to high school. He's going to go to college. I'm not. I'm never going to be able to get a normal job again. This was supposed to last me forever.  Now that it's gone, what am I supposed to do?

Say no.

"I... I couldn't. Wouldn't I throw a wrench into things?"

"Not at all. Sophie loves you. I can tolerate you." Ana smiled despite herself.

You know, you used to be hard as a rock. You used to be able to ignore your emotions. What happened?  You're not supposed to get wooed. You're supposed to say no.

"Really?" Even despite her efforts to turn herself against it, she found herself being hopeful.

"Even if it's just until you can find somewhere else, we'd be glad to have you." She didn't answer immediately. He was making it very hard to say no. But what could she do? What else could she possibly do? "Do you want me to come pick you up?"

"I... Jake..." His side went quiet for a long time. She tried not to, but couldn't stop herself from wondering what he was thinking. Did he think he was being too forward? Was she? She appreciated his want to help her, but she felt terrible. She felt like she was constantly taking advantage of him. Not to mention the fact that if she spent more time with her, she was inevitably going to end up liking him even more.

"Hey, lady, where're we going?" The cab driver asked.

Ana's face flushed. "One minute."

"I just don't know where else you're going to go."

She sighed and looked out the window. "Fine."

"I'll be there in ten."

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."