Threads of Shadow ☽

⁺‧₊☾₊‧⁺Hello, Death⁺‧₊☽₊‧⁺

The idea of dying had never really crossed my mind before, not in any real way.

Would I prefer a quick and painless exit, or a slow, drawn-out affair? How would I cope with the swirling emotions?

The image of being paralyzed and defenseless in my final moments flashed before me. The helpless waiting, the uncertainty, and the eventual end.

Strapped to a hospital bed, life support the only thing keeping me clinging on. But how dull it would be, lying there, unable to move from the neck down.

My mom used to say I was the most curious kid she'd ever seen. She found it endlessly exasperating. I'd prod at things most people wouldn't dare touch – electrical sockets, hot irons, boiling pots, and even animals at the zoo.

I'd stare out of plane windows, aching to leap out and embrace whatever fate awaited me. Fire's dangerous dance was mesmerizing, enchanting even, despite its destructive potential.

These thoughts constantly swirled in my head, always just below the surface. My mother used to tell me that my curiosity would drive her insane. No surprise that both my parents became overprotective and cautious as I grew up.

Then, there was the other notion that occasionally haunted me – drowning. Myrtle Beach, a family favorite. I never quite liked the ocean. I'd perch on the sand, watching the waves crash and retreat.

My beach chair would hug the shoreline, my gaze fixated on the water's unpredictable rhythm. The waves, alluring yet menacing, gobbling up unsuspecting swimmers. The pull of cerulean depths was hypnotic.

Even now, I can't forget the sensation of being engulfed by a colossal wave. The memory lingers, vivid and haunting. It all happened so swiftly.

That was when death seemed to beckon me. The wave crashed, and I was yanked beneath the surface. Each time I struggled up for a breath, another wave slammed me down. The relentless onslaught stole my air, dragging me down further. Panic and desperation fueled my fight.

It's just who I am, who I've always been.

I'll forever welcome death with a defiant grin.