Sassy Assassinator /ON HOLD/

Chapta Three

I feel like puking. The closer we get to the hospital the more anxious I get.
  I don't want see him, but then I do. What if he looks so bad I can't handle it. But I have to see him, cause it could be the last time. Oh god, why? My breathing gets heavier and heavier, and pretty soon I can barely breath. Great, another panic attack. I used to get them all the time as a kid, cause I was basically scared of everything. Now I barely ever get them, which shows how freaked I am right now.
                       ~~~~~
  We quickly find our way to the ICU.
  In the movies after someone nearly dies, they usually have like an epiphany or something, and realize how cruel they've been. Maybe Dad will be changed after this. You know, if he doesn't die.  We find his room and mom quickly rushes in. I turn around and lean against the doorway, taking a deep breath. I can do this. Stop acting like a baby and just go in there.
  Flashbacks of the police showing up at my house ten years ago flood my mind.

  "I'm sorry Mrs. Isabey for your loss," They say to Grandma who's on the floor crying her heart out. My little five-year old mind couldn't comprehend why my Grandma was crying. She never cried.
  I walked over to her and put my hand on her shoulder.
  "What's wrong Grandma?" I question. "What did you lose?" I ask innocently. Grandma takes my hand and looks at me.
  "I'm sorry honey, but your parents aren't coming back," Confusion and fear fills my body.
  "Why Grandma?"
  "They were in a car accident," she sobs. My heart breaks at that moment.
  "NO!" I scream. "They're coming back!"

I watched out my bedroom window for days, just waiting for them to come. A week later my Grandma had a heart attack and passed away. Both my parents were only child's so I was placed into foster care. I was the most bitter and terrible little kid. No one loved me. My family left me. But then Claire and Peter came. Claire was French just like my real mom, so we'd have conversations in French. She made me feel loved again. They became my foster family, and soon after that they adopted me. There's still that empty hole in my heart that hurts, and it will always be there, but I try to ignore it as best as I can.

  There's those odd days where I wonder how my life would be right now if all of this hadn't happened. Depression has always been lurking around the corner, some days closer than others, but I'm strong.
   I push off the doorway and rush down the hallway, tears brimming my eyes. I push through the door at the end and step outside, grabbing my phone out of my pocket. I dial Joey's number take a deep breath. He picks up on the first ring.
  "Hey you, I talked to Bree and she told me everything. How you holding up?" He asks worriedly.
  "I'm fine, just a little shaken up," I reply.
  "Good. How's your dad doing?"
  "I don't know," I answer sheepishly.
  "What? Why?"
  "I just couldn't go in there. I started having flashbacks, and then I couldn't help but wonder why cars hate my parents, and what if Mom can't deal with me if Dad dies and then I'd have to go back into foster care and no one wants a broken teenager and..."
  "Whoa, take a breath," Joey cuts me off. "You're not leaving. Nothing like that is going to happen. Claire loves you, and so do Bree and I, okay?"
  "But you don't..."
  "Okayyyy?"
  "Yeah, okay," I mutter. "Thank you,"
  "I'm your best friend, it's what I'm  here for. Now go see your dad,"
  "Okay. Love you."
  "Love you too. Bye" I put my phone back in my pocket and pull out my pack of smokes and lighter. I light one and take a long drag. I feel slightly better than before, so it's now or never.
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A/N
Thanks peaches9436 for editing this. Hope you all like it so far.
-faith