The Liability (2023 - COMPLETE)

XIX - Sick

 Whenever she couldn't sleep at night, Avalon would stare at the ceiling in her room, thinking of Percy. She had been living in New York for several weeks now and as much as she loved it here, she couldn't help but be acutely aware of what she had left behind.

If only I were a different man.

If only they had been different people. 

Avalon could pretend that she had moved on. That he didn't have a hold on her mind, but when she was left alone he was all she could think of. Percy was the one who had left her. He had buttered her up, fucked her, and then disappeared. Avalon didn't mean anything to that man, but then why does it hurt so much? Perhaps it was because he was meant to be the one to love her unconditionally.

The days were easier, she had several different people to fill her time with. Her days were more open now, no longer overflowing with appointments. 

She would spend the mornings completing her schoolwork. The online assignments were easy and she felt like she could finally breathe while learning. She did not have to constantly be on edge, fearing that her peers would lash out at her.

She had weekly meetings with Melissa, but Avalon always preferred the ones where they did not have to be in her stuffy office. As much as Melissa had tried to bring joy and life into the place, the whole building seemed so drab. The two of them were often able to grab lunch somewhere, enjoy the different attractions in the area, or even spend the day at the local mall. Melissa was old enough to be her mother, and even while she was just the caseworker assigned to her, Avalon reveled in the relationship she had with her.

It was now early spring, and the snow was mostly gone. It was still cold and damp in New York, but this was the type of weather that Avalon had grown up around. It was comforting to her.

Avalon had decided that she was keeping the name, and within a few weeks of going by it, she had told Melissa this. Avalon Josephine Kingston. She liked it, it really felt like she was ringing in this new chapter of her life in a way she could have never if she had remained Juno.

Sometimes, she would miss her life in Washington. It didn't make sense to her, remembering how miserable things had been. That she had a lifetime of pain from growing up there. But still, that was the only life she had known. That had been home. She would think of Luna Elizabeth, the first person to care for her. 

The necklace was the one piece of her life in Washington that she continued to treasure. Avalon had never taken the necklace off in the three months since she had gotten it. It was made of high-quality materials, the piece looked identical to the day she had gotten it. The necklace never discolored or turned her skin green. She would fiddle with the star pendant often, finding comfort in motion. It truly was something special to remember Luna Elizabeth by.

She was always tired. For someone who had spent so long having sleeping issues, Avalon now felt like she could never get enough sleep. She would crash on the couch while Anna and Rosalie laughed and enjoyed the evening. Somehow she was able to have several hours of sleep at night, and feel like it was not enough.

Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night, and in the hour or two it took to sleep again, she would think of Percy. 

She thought of the sweet words he had said to her her. She thought of his copper-colored curls and the scratch of his facial hair as he pressed kisses to her hairline. She thought of the night that she had kissed him in the clearing. She thought of the night of her heat. She would cry sometimes; she would be angry some other times. Nonetheless, he would creep into her thoughts. 

She was gaining weight, but that was a good thing, her doctors had wanted that. When she had come to New York, she had been underweight, and they wanted her to get to a healthy weight for someone her age and height.