A/N: YOU GUYS TOTALLY FREAKED OUT OVER THE LAST CHATER. I DONT BLAME YOU, I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME EXACT THING.
THANK YOU GUYS FOR OVER 2K! I DIDN'T EVER THINK THAT MY BOOK WOULD REACH HIGHER THAN 100 READS, OOPS.
DONT FORGET THAT I LOVE YOU GUYS DEEPLY, XOXO.
SONG CHOICE FOR THIS CHAPTER: PLAY DATE BY MELANIE MARTINEZ FOR NO APPARENT REASON OTHER THAN I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
Riley
The weeks to come were painful. I never realized how much I needed him until he left.
His smell in my room was slowly wearing off as the days went by. His mom allowed no contact between us even though he would be returning in a less than a year. She wanted a new start for him and well, he got it.
I didn't go out after he left unless it was necessary. I would go to school an go to August's sports games but besides that, I stayed curled up in my room.
Sometimes I didn't even feel like going to school. I started wearing black on black again catching my teachers and counselors attention. I really couldn't care less about them, though. They meant well but at this point I gave no cares in the world.
I kept my grades up and I did all of my school work so I had no idea why they were concerned. I mean sure, I was basically a wreck but it just made me feel worse knowing that everyone knew.
Whispers and stares were all that I received in school. They knew that we had sex, only lord knows how. Some of the rumors that went around were that it was bad so he left the country or that I kicked him out after he cheated on me. I really didn't pay attention to it much unless someone was to say it behind me. Then there was no going back.
My bay window was my safe place. I usually just sat there thinking of what we would be doing if he was here or how much my life would be different if he didn't have to go. My head tried harder and harder to quit thinking about him but it was impossible.
My mind was consumed of a boy that wasn't even in the same country as me.
In a way he did break me. I expected him to rebuild my idea of true love in a way that was blissfully innocent. He could steal kisses and make me fall in love. Although he did make me believe in love, it was shattered the moment he said that he had to leave.
Part of the time I wondered if he wanted to leave. He didn't fight his mom too much on the fact of him leaving. I wasn't sure if it was that he knew that she wouldn't change her mind or that he wanted to actually try and work it out with his mom.
The only thing that worried me was him not coming back. I didn't want to be one of those girls who waited for a guy that would never come. I didn't want to get too caught up in false hope in a unrealistic utopia.
A knock woke me out of my thoughts as I stepped away letting the mysterious person and their bag walk through my window.
Farkle.
He placed his black bag on the floor after taking out a silver tin can from the bag. He opened the can taking a long big gulp of the drink before offering me one.
"You don't have to take it." He whispered shakily. "It's that you have a lot going on."
I nodded as he opened another can for me. I had never tasted alcohol like his before. Sure, I had a few sips when I went to grandparents but nothing like this.
I took a small sip of the beverage as it stung my whole mouth. I quickly gulped more until the felling was replaced by a subtle buzzing in my head.
"My mom left." He said so softly. I put my drink down as I wrapped my arms around his body. I felt a tear drop on my arm as he leaned into my shoulder. His tears started to run freely down my shoulder as I squeezed him closer. Even though his parents split up a long time ago I know that he pushed those feelings away and refused to admit it.
I felt his pain. Memories of my parents came back causing me to cry with him.
We were a mess. I wanted him to feel no pain. It felt almost as if I was betraying Lucas by hugging another guy. Farkle was only a friend, right?
"She took my sister and just left. She didn't even say bye to me." He whispered as his voice struggled to remain steady. His head lifted up from my shoulder revealing his tear stained checks and bloodshot eyes.
I lifted my hands to his hair as I combed them out with my fingers. A small smile appeared on his face making me smile with him.
I leaned in closer to him cupping my hands around his face. I leaned in resting my forehead on his as I felt his breathing stop. I paused my lips in front of his contemplating my next move.
Lucas told me to move on. He told met hat I shouldn't wait for him, but it just didn't feel right. It didn't feel right kissing another guy that wasn't Lucas and I knew it.
In a way It was like betraying him. Our last moments together consisted of the same thing that I was doing with Farkle, minus the alcohol. I didn't want to ruin our last moment's with a kiss that meant nothing.
Would Lucas kiss another girl? The thought has never crossed my mind before until now. Being in a certain situation made me think all of these thoughts. He told me to move on implying that he would move on too, but he said that he would come back for me. It was all just to complicated.
I let out a small sigh as I moved even closer to Farkle. I looked into his blue eyes noticing how different they were compared to Lucas. He was an ocean and Lucas was a forest. The only question was whether or not I wanted to be stuck in an ocean, or stuck in a forest.
