Song Series

Gorilla

I do not quite remember having talked to you this before, but baby, your hot damn killer smile sets me on fire.

I got a body full of liquor with a cocain kicker

And I'm feeling like I'm thirty feet tall

So lay it down, lay it down

I come here, come to you, not so often. In days I have my work to fulfil, in nights I have to replenish my energy. My routine reeks of constant errand running, up-to-eyeballs piles of assign papers, and insincere apologizing for the mistakes, none of which I committed. But I have to persevere, for my own livelihood, my own well-being, and my own existence. In this exertion dexterity and resilience, whether genuine or not, are the crux of my continuity. I live and live, day by day, moving an inch somewhere, towards the goals I have yet to explore.

For once I shatter. I, my life, and all my perseverance, come to waste. Boss giving me the sack, impending bankruptcy, and the confiscation of my endearing, life-long automobile, house, and life in essence - I am threatened, bereft, cornered, with my back and my two hands contacting the walls and the edge of sanity. With every second they clench my belongings from my trembling hold, lacerate my fragile facade with their opposing and incisive look, and leash the knives at my face whenever I instigate any sense of disobeyance, I feel the brink of my normativity more distinct, the collapse of my life more up-close and inevitable. My only friend is emptiness, because any quality of mine has been taken away by those bitter hearts.

But this hollowness of mine opens a wonderful path to me. At my nadir I find you, my sanctuary. I never pay attention to who you are, by means of occupation, of originality and materiality, but a thing I know that all self-proclaimed human beings on this Earth fail but you is that you make me feel warm. Safe. Beloved. With you I feel my long gone humanity restored to its fullest, my life lifted above the ground, my mood on the crest of the wave. Soon I bathe myself in drugs, in alcohol, and in you.

You got your legs up in the sky

With the devils in your eyes

Let me hear you say you want it all

Say it now, say it now

I fall prey to the decrees and telling-offs of my employers for most of my life - never for once have I felt appreciated, superior, or secure. Had I found you earlier, I would have escaped freely from all of my misgivings - you give me all I need. I always thought that my life was of some sort deficient, subpar, unbearable, but I never knew I had it all, I had all the things that others could never possess, just that I had to find you.

Legend has it that the succubus sucks a man's soul out of his physique as he lays asleep. Then the devil fools around with it and satisfies it most lustful needs. The succubus is of sin, but you are not. To me you come as a beacon light that brightens my shadowy life. You suck my sanity out from me with your devilous touch and devious eyes, and that is all I need. This body proves no worth from now - humanity leaves nothing material to me - so pluck me out, drain my soul, and flee with me to your world, so that I never have to feel the fear any more. My body falls down the cliff, while my soul ascends into the world of entirety. You are never of sin, you are a saint. A sinful saint.

Mess with me. Fool with me. A saint never abandons its children. Shelter me from the deepest fears of my life. Lead me to a place where we are ours. You have upturned my life so radically in this jungle of chaos you cannot run any more. What you have done, and what you are doing, continue with it. Our love and existence is symbiotic. From here we can only run farther away, to the most sinful and abrasive locus at the end of this jungle, where we can be everything we yearn to have, as you satisfy me and my wrinkled soul, and travel back to the most rudimentary livelihood where capitalism has yet to infringe upon the lives of us, and everything is allowed the widest space it wants. Wild, young, and free. Like gorillas.

Yeah, I got a fistful of your hair

But you don't look like you're scared

You're just smiling, tell me "Daddy, it's yours"

Cause you know how I like it you a dirty little lover

The classical Freudian psychoanalytical theory postulates that it is basic human desire for intercourse. Inside the id, coined by Freud, the beast desirous of sexual satisfaction runs uncaged, or uncageable. It lays in the unconscious, founds the humans' everyday activities, and reveals itself only upon irrational conditions. I am stripped of my every civilizations, those ironically built up by humanity itself. Under nothingness I am under no obligations, no ties and connections to bind myself with any whom. My unconscious takes over, it blurs the efforts of the conscious to keep me sane, but I simply cannot. The beast is unleashed, it charges hellously. My mind blazes like an inferno.

Yet in every single moment of my release, you acquiesce to me. No one has ever done that to me before. Appreciation, superiority, and security all confer upon me in these seconds of interaction. How delightful I am now thanks to your commitment. How high I am now thanks to our attachment. What humanity fails, you compensate all for it.

You may be nice to everyone, but you are especially prepossessing to me tonight. You are my everything. You are to me as I am to you. Our love is divine and unbreakable.

Ecstasy is approaching. We are within an ace of victory. I am inside you, you harbor my fullness - we are entwined into the omniverse filled with ardor and fervence and an inextinguishable conflagration. Nothing could seperate us in this moment of kairos, when you and I break through all norms and pass into another dimension. Call the cops, call the sheriff, call the SWAT, we do not stop. You will be screaming your cheer of triumph, while I blast out my essence - my perfection.

An underdog I have always been. A contempt, a blot on the landscape. I have never known how damn ecstatic it will be when I am no more a disgrace. I am now the best of me. Nothing becomes everything.

You ain't no normal hooker. People say you love everyone, but tell me you love only me. I am the sole soul that you will ever suck out of, will ever keep, will ever stick to. I give you the feelings you want. I can bet you never felt so good as I get your body trembling like it should. You shall never love anyone but me. You can never be the roaming succubus. You can only be mine.

Love me more, love me harder, love me with everything we have. Our love is wild, young, and free. Give me more, take me higher, and rip me of every remnant of me, until our sinned love reaches our divinity. Then we love with our souls, then we love with our sincerity, then we love with our best, like gorillas.