Red Rose

Chapter Two

"Why are you here?". "Now is that anyway to treat your mother?". "Funny I didn't know I had one". I said as I smirked at her. I know my words were poisonous to her ears. "Erin". Rodney called out in a whisper. I look back and he was signaling me to look at the sadness that crossed her face. "Don't be fooled by that look trust me I was fooled a thousand times before she up and left". He just put his face in his hands as if I was making the situation worse. "Why are you here Honey?". "That's enough Erin". My father scrolled as he stood behind her. "You can forgive her dad but me I will never ever in my life forgive her so don't waste your breathe Honey". I could see those words definitely cut her deep but who cares about that, not me. "Ease up". "Who the hell are.........you". Before I knew it I was looking at this boy who looked just like Shawn and I mean it was so real. I couldn't break eye contact with him it's like it had a hold on me. "Erin". My dad called out to me but I couldn't answer. I couldn't even move my head to face him I was stuck right where I was standing. I could feel the tears fall off my face onto the soft pink rug beneath my feet. Maybe if I just try to look at the wall or try to turn my eyeballs I could snap back but I couldn't. It was too hard. I don't understand why I couldn't just turn away no matter what I thought of I just couldn't turn away. "Erin come back?". Honey said as she shook me. Even though I don't like her and don't want her touching me I just couldn't react to anything even Rodney and he's been calling me for the longest. The boy got closer to me and he stood over me just like Shawn same big brown eyes, same big lips, same everything. Call me crazy if you want but this boy looks exactly like him, like he stole Shawn's whole face. "Why are you staring at me?". He asked but I just couldn't get the words out. "Hellooo?". He sounded like Shawn too the exact bass on the voice. He started to leave and that's when I finally came back. "Why do you have his face?". I asked him. My voice was shaking and the tears were already there just waiting to fall. "Why do you have his face?". I asked him again just slower. Everyone looked at each other and didn't say anything. "ANSWER ME......please". I broke down and fell to the ground. I couldn't stop crying, it just felt like he was there but it wasn't him. He came and kneeled beside me. " I know how you feel". I looked at him again a said "no you don't". Everyone just stopped in their tracks. No one said anything after I said that to him. The chill in my voice just silenced the whole room. "Maybe we should go to school". Rodney said breaking the awkwardness. "Yeah let's go". I walked past them as if they weren't there. The feeling in my chest made things worse for me. I couldn't do it no more, the hurt, the pain, the faking. I was in a dark place and I still am and hiding it only makes it worse for me and everybody who's around me. "You know it's gonna be ok right?". Rodney said trying so hard to break the ice that froze over my heart. "It will never be ok". I could tell he didn't like that because the facial expression on his face changed. He fell off just like me. When we arrived at school I just couldn't get myself together. Everyone around me was there but I couldn't see them but they could see me struggling to fix what the world broke. He looks just like him and sounds just like him. He was him. He reminds me and everything I tried to run from. The darkness finally decided to come and get me right when I was so close to just letting go. He caught me like he always said he would. Down and on my last life. "Erin are you here?". Asked Javi. When I look up everyone is staring at me with concern. ".......". I couldn't find the words to speak so I just got up and left the table and went to the bathroom to call my dad. "Hello". The guy otp was the boy who looked like Shawn. I started crying as if he triggered every horrible memory I ever had. "Hello". He said again. I cried harder. Sobbing in pain and agony. "ERIN". The more he spoke the more I cried. I hung up and just sat there and cried til I couldn't cry anymore. I tried to pull myself together but I couldn't do it in time. A group of girls came in the bathroom and saw me there. "Well well well....look what we have here". "Millyon...leave me alone". The other girls could see I had a problem but they didn't say anything just stood there as millyon tried to pick at me. "What's wrong pumpkin". "Stay tf away from me". "Listen I heard Rodney talking with your friends about your brother and stuff so ima say this one time ok and ima need you to let it sink in ok....He's gone and he's never coming back". The pit in my stomach got bigger my life just kept crumbling and she made it worse. The next thing I know I got her throat in my hand. "I will break every bone in your body if you ever let those words come out your mouth ever again. I will not allow you or anyone else to disrespect him especially since he's gone. I will rip that tongue right out of your mouth and make you swallow it". I said made her kneel before me. She was tapping my arm to signal that she couldn't breathe but I didn't care. One of her friends came and looked at me and told me to let her go. "I can't". "Come on...ok....let her go". I ease up and finally let her go. She gasp for air as quickly as possible. I walked out of the bathroom and ran right into him. It's like he knew I was there. I just couldn't talk I couldn't get over it. "Erin are you gonna say sum this time?". "Why do you look like him?". I said as I burst into tears. He wrapped his arms around me and held me so close. "It's gonna be ok". "No...it's never gonna be ok". "One day you'll wake up and you'll think back to this moment and say your right Eric, everything's ok now". He kissed my head and just pulled me close. "I doubt that". I said. The ride home was silent I mean honestly silent rides is like a thing now so I don't even bother talking anymore. I just think to myself what would life really turn out to be if he was still here, if she never walked out on us, if I was never here. To me ima walking dead soul. Invisible to the earth and everyone on it. It's not fair that people live to die and we can't even do anything just a waste of humans. The reality of life is a door that stays locked until you find pain and agony hit you from the side. I mean there are other doors but that door specifically is hell with in itself. "......Erin? Did you hear me?". "I'm sorry what". "I said tomorrow if you want we can hang out or something do whatever you wanna do". "I think I'll stay home tomorrow". "I know it hurts. I lost my brother too the difference was his sister was there at that time while he dying and I wasn't". "I'm sorry to hear that. What was his name? How is his sister now". "Shawn and as for shawn's sister....she feels hurt, she's destroyed". Listen I'm slow but I ain't that slow. "That's why you look like him. That's why you sound like him". "Yeah we was friends for a long time he was my brother regardless of blood but your mother would remind us everyday that we was not brothers for real that I was adopted but Shawn made me feel so welcomed, apart of a family when I didn't have one". "Yeah he was sweet and had a good heart". "Yeah". We pulled up to the house and there they were waiting for me. She stared at me like she gave a damn about me. Those blue eyes don't trick me anymore. "Dad". I said as I ran to him and hugged him tight. "It's ok your home now". "What happened?". "Like you care". She thinks ima forgive her for real but I'm not and I never will. I walked up to my room and closed the door and locked it. I'm so tired. I think back to earlier today when I chocked Millyon today. "That was soooo not me". I said to myself. After that thought There was a knock at the door. "Coming". I yelled as I got off the bed. "What wasn't you". Eric said from the door way. "Choking out some girl". "Who is this some girl". "Millyon Braves". "And why did you choke her out?". "She said something that almost made me kill her". "And what was that". I started to rethink the memory and it hurt so bad cuz I know it was true but unbearable. "She said he's gone and he's never coming back". "Why would she...". "Because she hates me". "Why?". "Well it wasn't always like this before. She was actually my Bestfriend and her father and my father were best friends I mean they were each other best men at their weddings and me and her were the petal girls or whatever. She was my all time Bestfriend before Tonya and Javi. We were together all the time because of our fathers, same daycare,same schools, same everything. Than our fathers went off to the military and left us. Something happened to her dad and my dad tried to help him but he told my dad to leave him there and save him self but my dad said no. Her father came back but he didn't make it after some months he died from an infection to the brain. Every since than she blamed my father for what happened and just hated me just to hate me. I have a letter from her dad that I was suppose to give her but I never did cuz she stopped talking to me so I just kept it I'm the draw over there by the door and I never touched it. I still don't know what it says". "Maybe you should read it". "I don't want to". "Read it". He said as he got up Nd handed me the letter. I open the letter real slow. Apart of me hopes Millyon will change but the other half just doesn't care. "Dear Milly Bear, It's my last moments and I wish I could spend it with you but instead ima write this letter for you. I love you and I know it's gonna hurt but promise me you won't turn on the ones who love you. Erin is there for you all the time and she always will be. She's a good friend to you don't let her slip through the cracks. But I'm here to tell you that love is not lost and family is forever my baby. One day you'll understand what this letter is telling you until then protect the ones you love and be there for them as I was there for you. I love you Milly Bear. Sincerely Dad".