Red Rose

Chapter Four

"Where am I?". I asked as I turned to face her. "Your in your very own subconscious". "Your telling me I'm dreaming?". "Yes". "Then why are you here?". "Listen sweetie I get your mad at me but you need to focus so you can find your friends". "Since when did you care about my friends". "Remember this is your subconscious". I can't take it any longer idk what to believe. On one end I believe it because only I care about my friends and where they are but on another end why would honey be here?. "Ok since this is my subconscious isn't it a dead end as well?, if my conscious couldn't help me find my friends then how can my subconscious help me?, their basically one and the same". "No your subconscious brings to light what your conscious can't/won't". "Whatever....what do you want?". "Well it's not what I want it's what you want and need". Honestly I don't trust her at all even in my subconscious, this women just rubs me the wrong way. "Just hear me out, the day your friends was taken you saw the person who drove off with them." "What are you talking about....I didn't see anyone". "Think harder". "This is starting to get useless". "It's only getting useless because your not trying". "I am trying". "Try harder". I try again, I focus on everything and I'm still stuck. "Come on now Erin, dont be so gullible. THINK". "IM TRYING". I think again the only thing I see was blue eyes, just like the ones I'm seeing now. I look at her with wide eyes as she smiles at me in pure joy. "You". "Me". I jump out my sleep in beads of sweat. I get up out of my bed and my dad and honey are gone. THERE FUCKING GONE. "NOOO.....NOOO". I scream out loud as i bend over on the floor. I can't lose him too, I just can't. I get up and pack a lot of closes and im headed out the door. Ill be damned if I let that bitch get away with this. I headed out the door and to the security office. The security guard ain't worth a damn, so it took nothing to get in that place. I rewind the cameras back and caught her ass. She took him, she really took him. I got the licenses plate number and went on my way. I speed down the road to the police station even though I know they aren't gonna be any help. All I think is I just can't loose him , not him too. I bust though the doors and told everything that happened. They gave me the same look they gave me and my dad when Shawn died. The 'We can't help you because we dont want too' look. "Listen Mrs....". "You can just call me Erin". "Well Erin... there isn't much we can do simple cause we dont have enough proof". That's exactly what they told my dad about shawn, what a coincidence. "Of course because you have better things to do like sit behind desk while my family falls apart but your family is sitting home chilling knowing daddy's a cop". "Watch yourself there Miss". "Screw you". I said as I got up and walked out. "Hey?". Every thing okay over here. Another cop asks. "Ask mall cop over there". I said as I pointed to the big cop. "What can I help you with?". The other officer said. "I need someone to help me. My dad was taken by my mom and this is not a joke she took him and I have the proof". "Listen miss we dont have time for this. I remember you. Erin. I know its been hard on you with your brother being gone and things but you can't come in here saying things like that". "But it's true though.....I promise this is not some crazy assumption its real". He looks at me like he wants to reject me but he doesn't. Instead he takes me to his office. "Listen I usually dont do this but you better be quick and this so called proof better be good". I showed them the video from the apartment cameras. "Okay do you know why she would do this?". He asked me. "I dont know, but she took my friends too. She is crazy. She just decided to pop back up in our lives and turn it upside down and im going to stop her so please help me". He takes a quick moment to think about helping. It felt like everything froze like the world depended on his answer and to me it did. It felt like forever waiting for him to answer. My nerves were wrecked and I could hear my heart beating louder and louder. I really need his help. "Yes". He said. I think I started to cry a little. "Yes?". I questioned. "Yes i will help you". He said. I started crying even harder. I hugged him tightly and surprisingly he hugged me back. "I know what its like to have your family took from you, we should've done more for Shawn and I hope you can forgive us but we will help you save your friends and family". "Thank you so much". I said. We sat down and tracked everything licenses plate, vin numbers, and all. We were very determined. We finally tracked her down to an old house in Illinois. "She must have lived there when she first left.". I said to the cop. "We leave first thing in the morning". "The morning?". "Yes the morning". "But....". "No but's. We will find them don't give up". I nodded my head and went home. I packed even more things in my bag. "Going somewhere?". I turned and found Eric standing behind me. I forgot about him, how could i have forgotten him. "Yeah got things to handle". It was so dark in the house. Darker than usual now that i think about it. "What things?". "Don't worry about it". I said to him. "I know what she did". "What?". "I know what Honey did". "What do you mean?". "I know she took your dad and i know some other things too". "And you didn't say anything?". "I didn't know how to say it to you. You were already going through a lot". "So what. She took everything from up under me and you sat there and watched. Some brother you are". I grabbed my bag and began to walk out the door. "There is something I need to tell you". He said just before I grabbed the knob. "What?". "Listen, i know from the beginning that you saw that I looked like him and the thing about it is, I....I am him". "I don't think I understand". "I..I am Shawn. I didn't die I lived". "Is this some sort of sick joke". "No its not. I'm telling you I'm Shawn".  "Go to hell". I said as I opened the door. "Havana wait". I stopped in my tracks. "What did you just call me?". "Havana". He repeated again. Only Shawn knew to call me that. I was into Angels and demons and things like that and he would always sit and listen to me when I talk about how cool it would be to be a supernatural creature. We both had names for our creatures his was Demon, typical right, but mine was......Havana. I closed the door and turned the lights on but I couldn't open my eyes. "How did you know about that? Only Shawn and me knew about that". "Because I am Shawn". "I watched him die on the street. I was covered in his blood. I was wreaked for months. I was stuck, beaten, sad, hurt for months on end. I held him. And you mean to tell me your him". "Open your eyes". "No". "Open your eyes". I opened them and the tears immediately came down. I couldn't help but spazz out on him. I was punching, kicking and slapping him. I wanted to murder him for real. "YOU DIED. YOU LEFT ME. YOU WERE LIFELESS. YOU WERE BLEEDING ALL OVER ME". I said as I continued to punch at him. "IM SORRY OKAY". "SORRY ISN'T GONNA CUT IT". I yelled back. "You left me here to be all alone with no one left to have my back, nobody to understand me. I said goodbye for the last time, i sat up day and night as i thought about how your blood was the last warm thing i would get from you because your love left when you did. You left me with no warning, no goodbye, no NOTHING AND YOU EXPECT ME TO DO WHAT? FORGIVE YOU, WELCOME YOU BACK.....well news flash I'm not doing it". I said as the tears just kept coming down my face. "Erin please". "Just don't". I said as I left out he room. "Please Erin let me explain". "I don't wanna hear it. Do you even know what you did to me? You left me to have to deal with it all on my own. I was devastated and everyone around me moved on while you were pretending to be dead". "I can explain if you let me". "You got one second". "That's too short of time". "Well you better talk fast". "When i got shot i did some what die but not completely. I could hear your cries and they were haunting. And i know you didn't wanna let go and I'm so sorry for that but i didn't have a choice. When I got to the hospital she was there. She gave me an 2 options, Go with her to Illinois an take care of some business or Stay here with you and dad where eventually she would come back and kill all of us". "Why does she want us dead". "There was this gang lord she would sleep with behind dads back whenever they would get into it and the warlord really fell in love with her and every since then he wanted her to marry him but she couldn't because she had a family she would be leaving behind, so to show that we didn't mean anything to her she shot me. I don't think she expected me to live". "You know what I'm done for tonight". "Havana....". "Dont call me that, only my brother Shawn would call me that. I dont know who you are". I said as i left the house and closed the door on him. I get to the car and it happened again the tears, the heart pain, the grief, the emptiness. I drove around the block for a little while so i can gather my thoughts after what happened. I can believe he did that to me. Years of pain and agony and he didn't even die. I dont know how to feel I should be happy he's alive but that type of betrayal is unforgivable. I drove to Rodney's house after I calmed down. I knocked on the door and his big brother answered. "Hey DaeDae". I said. "Hey Lil bit". "Is Rodney here". "Yeah he's in his room". "Thanks". I walked through the house but something felt off. I continued deeper inside and i got to Rodney's room. I heard him talking to someone. 'Male?'. I opened the door and there he was. "Why are you here?". "Erin please hear him out". Rodney said. "I already did". "Believe me when i say it wasn't to hurt you but protect you". "It's just so hard to look at you knowing you...you...you died, you died. You left. I said goodbye. I almost made peace and you just show up out of no where and....you were dead I looked at you, i was soaked in your blood. You were gone. That day that specific day you chose to leave me behind and not come back you said fuck me and left YOU LEFT ME, YOU LEFT ME". He came close and wrapped his arms around. It felt so good to feel that hug again, that warmth. I cried even harder on his shirt. "I'm so sorry". He said in my ear. "You were suppose to stay and fight and you left". It went quiet as i continued to cry for hours in his arms. Eventually Rodney had to take me away from him and hold me himself. He kissed my forehead and held me tightly. "Did you just kiss her forehead?". Said Shawn. "Yes". He didn't say anything after that i guess he figured now wasn't the time. I want to take him in, i want to forgive him, i want him to see he's welcomed back but how can i do that if all i can think about is his dead lifeless corpse every time I touch him.