Ta Fête (Stromae Fanfiction)

19: Tous Les Mêmes

Andrea's P.O.V.
I sat on the edge of Paul and I's bed, running my toes through the material of the rug which covered about half of our bedroom floor, listening to Paul rave about some new designs for Mosaert and how he would want to take a break for a few years to stay home with the baby and I, once it's born, but I see myself constantly dazing in and out of the conversation, remembering when I was younger, no older than 8 or 9 and was in the back seat of my mom's car with my brothers Ariam and Gabriel, hand in hand with them out of fear of what would be next.
My mom was racing down the highway, yelling and pounding at the steering wheel as her makeup ran down her face until the point where it blurred her vision and almost led us into the back of a semi truck. She pulled over on the side of the highway, rain pattering on the roof of the car and started to cry even harder than she just has been, if that's possible. She had just arrived home and walked in on my dad with one of his students in his study. My dad was a college professor and he would often have students over to tutor them on material they didn't quite get the first time around, but this student in particular, hadn't been after tutoring.

I was young, but I knew what was going on. I didn't understand everything that was happening until I grew older, but the feelings my mom was radiating required no age or high IQ to understand. I remember she had pulled my brothers and I out of the house and dragged us into the car, not having any sort of plan in mind while my dad rushed out of the house demanding that she not take his kids. They argued back and forth before she got in the car and drove away in a snap. I didn't see my dad for about a week after that until one day my mom drove us home and she walked in the door, setting her purse in her room and her keys on the key rack as if nothing had happened at all, it was such a sudden twist of events and of emotion, I never quite got around to understanding how she did it, but she did. I remember that was the first time I saw my dad cry, he dropped to his knees and hugged my mother's waist asking for forgiveness, which she granted him. I remember asking myself how in the hell could she take back a man who hurt her so deeply? Who made her flee her home and take her children with her? How could she, the most outstanding mother in the world, take back my dad, who at the time I felt sorry for, seeing the tears stream onto the nape of his shirt.

Now I sit here on the edge of this bed, hands placed to my sides, listening to my very enthusiastic boyfriend rave about his ideas for the future, the very same future I would've wanted to start a year ago before everything happened.

Now, I kind of get how my mom did what she did. At the time she told us it was for us and that our dad had made a mistake which he would never repeat, but in the end, I feel like while they ended up happier, I lost a bit of respect for both of them, though it was nothing too grave, I mean, they're still my parents, but with that being said, at the same time, every time I'm in bed beside Paul, smelling his minty aftershave as he moves his head closer to mine, I think of how much respect I kind of lost for myself, despite the fact that I'm happier now with him, expecting to have a new life.

I know that every time I look at him, I look at him a bit differently or I feel a bit of self doubt in what I'm actually doing because I've never been one to allow my happiness to depend on anyone, but for some reason, like my mom took my dad back, I took him
back. Maybe it's a woman thing or some sort of weird instinct, but it's been made clear to me that even though this decision is one that will always wallow negatively in the self encouraging part of my mind, the part that Paul consumes of me is much bigger than that, which has allowed him to become a part of me, my past, my present, and my future. Maybe I'm lovesick or maybe I'm just overthinking, but maybe just maybe, making the wrong decision for myself will turn out do be the right decision for the part of me that consumes him.

"So, whaddya think?" Paul asks, snapping me out of my thoughts

"I think that sounds perfect." I said, not actually knowing what I agree to.

"Alright, well we'll let everyone know on Monday of next week." He said with a big smile and then walked over to where I was, giving me a small peck on the lips which allowed me to taste the lingering essence of the last cigarette he smoked.

He sat down beside me, placing an arm around my back and then started kissing my cheeks in a sweet manner until
he saw a small smile form on my lips.

"There's what I like to see." He chuckled and then pulled me closer into his chest

"I wish time would just stop right now so I could keep on reliving this moment with you over and over." He said with a love struck sigh

"Why this moment? Why not any other?" I asked and then he flashed me a small smile

"Nothing big has to happen for me to feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again, right now, you just smiling a bit made me feel like I was in 7th grade being kissed by the prettiest girl in school. You, Andrea Serrano, are the prettiest girl in my school." He said and then I smiled again, kissing him once again but this time more passionately.

"I adore you, both of you." He said, placing his hand over my small but growing bump

"And we adore you, too." I said as we both fell back into the bed, my frame fitting perfectly into his as time did exactly what he wanted it to, it stood still because in that moment, the world only consisted of Paul and I in our bedroom with the sunlight pouring in from the window onto us.