Him

Chapter 1

Why can't my heart just want someone else?
I like him. Does he like me back?
He knows me. But does he know the feelings I have for him? I've known him for years. How is it so hard for him to realize I like him? Will I embarrass myself if I tell him my feelings and have him think it's a joke or just be like one of those guys who go on blah blah about we're just friends? Do you just have that one guy that you've known since you were young? At a certain age you started to realize you loved that guy as more than what you are. Sure you have feelings for other guys maybe. But at the end of the day, you love him most.

He's the only one that freaks you out and makes your day better. When he steps in the room you get butterflies in your stomach, joy in your heart, him in your brain. These are the feelings you have when he's around, but of course he doesn't know that because you keep these feelings deep inside of you. You don't know how to even start to get these feelings out, you just can't figure out why.

Brayden Prescott, the only guy that has ever made me this crazy. Most of the guys I've been with are bad boys who never really made me happy. But him, Brayden Prescott.

One thing I know for sure is that I'm very good at hiding how I truly feel. I may talk to people about serious things and not even sound serious because that's how I am. I don't like to be serious or sad about things so I know that if I tell Brayden my feelings for him he'll just think it's a joke. I'm not good at sounding serious.

Call me Vanny, that's my nickname, the name that all my best buddies call me. By buddies I mean guys, I only have one gal friend and she's my favorite person in the whole world. Her name is Amaris and that's what people call her except for me. I like to call her Riss, she only allows me to call her that. I'm sure you already know why. Because we're best friends, she's my soulmate, I can tell her anything. But telling her that I like Brayden will surprise her. Saying to her that I like Brayden is easy. But she would want to know more which brings it to the hard part.

Brayden is a guy I've known since preschool. He and Amaris are my favorite people in the whole world because I know them very well and they know me very well, but one thing they've never realized is that I hide a lot inside me. On the outside, I'm that girl in the cafeteria who sits in the best group of friends, that girl who is always happy, that girl who makes everyone feel better, and that girl who is very smart, that girl who never has to work hard to get a guy, that pretty girl that every other wishes to become like. But honestly, my life is not even close to close to perfect.

My dad left my mom and I when I was four years old. So really, I don't know anything about my dad and I don't think I'll ever want to know. The only thing I know about him is that he left, he never stayed with his family. I don't know how or what kind of person he is now. My mom, Amaris, and Brayden are my family. I would never want to spend my life without those three people.

*****

Right now I'm just lying on the bed staring at the ceiling and trying to take Brayden Prescott out of my head. As always, my phone is always beside me with the music playing. Music became very important to me as I grew up. I've loved music since I was young. I like to say: "The music is just the beat, but the art is the lyrics." I realized that music was very important to me when I was thirteen and I couldn't live without it.

I was thirteen when I had my first boyfriend, I was thirteen when I had my first kiss, I was thirteen when my mother told me all about my dad, she never told me much but she just told me what I needed to know. Also, I was thirteen when I began to realize that I had feelings for Brayden. My whole life started when I was thirteen. It's like my eyes opened up when I was at that age, thirteen.

The age of thirteen is the age that was the most sad for me. The boyfriend I had, my first boyfriend ever, his name was Micheal. Everything was going fine until I had my first kiss and it wasn't Micheal. My first kiss was Brayden.

It was just a normal day at school until lunch when Brayden, Riss, and I were playing a game we made up called Truth or Kiss. Micheal wasn't with me at lunch because he was in detention for cussing at a teacher and not finishing his school work.

Truth or Kiss was an easy game. Everyone gets a turn to ask someone a question and if they don't want to answer it the person who asked the question has to tell the person who was asked the question who to kiss and that person has no choice but to tell the truth or kiss somebody.

Flashback

"This question is for Vanny, Truth or Kiss?" Riss started. "What happened to your dad?"

I knew she asked that question because she deserved to know, but I never wanted to answer that question so I had no choice but to kiss someone in the game. I knew Riss would ask me to kiss Brayden because it was just us three who were playing the game anyway.

"I'll kiss." I replied after a long moment of thinking.

"I uh-" I knew Riss was sorry for asking that question so I cut her off before she even said sorry.

"No Riss, it's okay, you're my best friend, you deserve to know, I just can't. I'll kiss." I said with a sadness already drawn on my face.

"Brayden, kiss Brayden."

I was dumb and I did as she said, I kissed Brayden. But what I never knew was that one of Michael's friends was watching and was the one who told Micheal that I had kissed Brayden. So Micheal broke up with me because of that, I tried to explain to him that it was just a game but he never believed me. I also couldn't blame Riss for what happened because she didn't know I was dating Micheal, neither did Brayden. I hadn't told them until we broke up. I honestly never told them because they would try to be the good friends that they are and tell me he wasn't right for me. You know how true friends are: "You deserve someone better than him." But I liked Micheal even though he was a bad boy... I thought I could change him.

The advice they would've given me would be right. I deserved better than Micheal. That's when I realized that BP (Brayden Prescott) was the only guy I loved more than friends.

That's the end of Chapter One. I hope you liked it. Chapter Two will come out when at least a few people start reading my book.