Shadows

Blood red

I'm running, out of breath. My feet are heavy and pound against the ground. My body does feel like jelly, and I'm super lightheaded.
I might pass out, yet I continue to run. My lungs are screaming, and I push through the pain. My throat hurts from Pat, and I think it's already bruised now.
I'm heading to school. I don't know why I'm running, it's not like I'm going to be late. And even if I am, it's not a big deal.
Today after school, they will hold a funeral for Embry. Her mother couldn't pay for it, so the school jumped in, helping her.
Students don't have to come. I'm not sure if I will either. For some reason I'm afraid. I'm terrified if I get around more people, they'll turn out to be like Pat. Whatever happened then.
I'm forced to stop to catch my breath. I crouch over, hands on my knees and inhale. I want water, but sadly I left my bag at Pat's. I honestly probably won't be back to get it.
I don't want him feeling like he did that to me. I shouldn't even came over there. All I know is that I now need some where else to stay.
The cold bitter wind does nothing for me, and only makes everything hurt worse. My nose starts to run.
I'm almost to school. I'm on Main Street now, the school is about a half a mile away.
I rub my hands together, trying to get feeling back into them. They look and feel swollen. The tops of my fingers are a bright pink. I tuck them into my jacket.
I stand up and breathe out. My breath is visible in the air. It comes and then fades away.
I start to think about Embry Farren and her last breath.
I shake my head at my thoughts. I need to stop thinking about her. Yet she's all that's on my mind. She's the one that changed my life over a bag of pills. I seriously don't know how to feel about it, or how to feel about anything anymore. My friends told me it's okay, I didn't kill her. But I helped. I aided her death.
Wasn't that what she wanted?
I don't know. Maybe she really did want the pills to get high, how am I supposed to know? They labeled her death as a suicide straight off. She didn't leave a suicide note though. She didn't show the usual 'signs'.
It happened out of nowhere, boom she's dead. Her mother didn't know, but really that isn't saying much about her mother. I've heard rumors she does meth.
I cough and start running again. Now the burning in my lungs goes to my neck. It hurts my entire body, it feels like my insides are on fire. I stop and lean against our graveyard wall.
Though I'm cold, I'm sweating like hell. I start to unzip my jacket, but when I look down, there's blood all over me.
"What the fuck?!" I scream. With shaky hands, i hastily take my jacket off. The clothes underneath are stained red too. The smell is terrible. If I breathe in from my mouth, I can taste it. I start gagging.
My used to be white shirt is slowly turning into blood. It seeps through, like I have a wound.
I take my shirt off and throw it on the ground.
I gaze at my bare chest. There's nothing.
I glance back to my clothes on the sidewalk, and there isn't a spot on them.
I'm spooked. I look around me, looking to blame this on someone, anyone but myself.
I can't be going crazy.
I gingerly pick my clothes up and put them back on.
The temperature out here is below zero. So I know I appear crazy as much as I feel. The burning stops all together suddenly.
I sit back on the wall, confused. Trying to get my brain back on track.
What just happened to me?