Cambion-GerIta

gerita

Feli pressed a hand to his stomach, and bit his lip. The bumb forming was hard, and definitly not fat. The Italian let out a soft gasp as something kicked. He looked up sharply, at his reflection in the mirror.

    "Mio dio..." He whispered, and he shivered. The warm bedroom suddenly felt cold; the hearth blazing with thick flames suddenly fading. He shook his head, and pressed his hand tighter against his olive skin.

  He looked at the bed in an intense want of its invitation to warmth and comfort. Different to this. Completely different to this entire situation.

  He almost wanted Ludwig with him, although he knew the German would offer the most akward of comfort. Thats not what he wanted. He wanted it to go away.

  He wanted a child; of course he did. The very thought made him happy. But this was different. He was with child, and he knew only half of it was him and Ludwig.

  "Will it be a child?" He whispered to himself, face contorting into pain. The very idea made him scared, worried. He felt sick, and somethig told him it wasn't because of the... Thing inside of him. It was the fear, the deep clench in his heart, in his stomach, in his throat.

  He breathed in deeply, and closed his eyes. He hadn't meant to do this. He really hadn't meant to. He didn't want this. It was just a stupid thing. He was a stupid thing. And now he had ended up with child.

  "Stupid..." He whispered, "Idiota." He took his hand of his stomach and moved it to his eyes, Wiping then in rage. "Oh god..." He opened his eyelids wide, "Ludwig..." The Italian's small legs threatened to lock at this new, horrendous thud of fear ran through his body like a bullet through the head.

  What would his German lover say? He didn't want children. He didn't like them. He would know something was wrong with Feli; he always knew. Ludwig was going to kill him. Leave him. The stronger man would rage, slam his fist against the wall. He would ask questions, questions Feli couldn't answer. He would want to how, and why... The Italian felt his knees give out, and he fell to the floor in a distressed heap.

  The blazing fire made him feel sick. He was sweating, yet he felt so cold. His body shook with every deep, panicked breath. He placed a hand in his stomach once again. "Mi bambino..." He whispered, "Non..." He let out a small scream of rage. "I don't want you."

  What was he going to do? His lover would be back in a week. And there was no doubt that Ludwig would want to know why the Italian had gained weight in such a small amount of time.

  He was trapped. Nothing good would come of this. He was ladelled with something he didn't need. He didn't want. He was to be the mother of a thing with two other parents. One being Ludwig, and the other... Feli stopped cold.

  He didn't know.

  He was bad.

  And just what was Ludwig going to say...?

   It had only been a month since he asked the German if they could have a child. Feli put his head in his arms. It wasn't fair. He was upset. He was angry. He knew Ludwig wouldn't want a child when he asked.

  *Flash back*

The Italian never liked Ludwig's office; it was bleak and old and full of boring things that were meant to teach you.

  It reminded Feli about how this ws his lover's world, and that it wasn't a place he himself was allowed to peak into. Ludwig had mafe it very clear on the first day he officially moved in that he was not to meddle in the German's work.

  However, after a particularly painful session whilst hild-minding, the Italian had to ask.  He couldn't deny the fact that a child is all he wanted.