An Ass of a Tale

chapter 1

As a kid my mom always said life is like ass. I didn't know what that meant at the time, but boy was I about to find out. I was only 8 at the time and I was still learning how the world worked. As a kid I always was fawned of ass. I didn't know what it was for but I knew one thing for certain, I could not live without it. I just wanted to put ass on a plate and dig in. While kids were playing outside I was thinking of ways to come more in touch with ass. I drew in my journal and plotted ways I could become ass. I loved ass so much, I ate ass on a daily basis. Let me tell you its not easy finding ass when you're eight. That's why I turned to animals. I didn't care for pussy I just loved ass. I wanted to make love to ass. I dreamed of fucking anything with an ass. At night I would fall asleep on my pillow made of ass on my bed made of ass curled up in my blanket of ass with my hands in my ass. I would dream of swimming in seas of ass. One day, six years later, I woke up to find my mom coughing up blood. My mom was very sick. In my mind I knew she needed help. I called 9-1-1 and ask for an ambulance. They were taking to long and my mom blacked out. I knew she would need help at that moment or she would perish. I helped her the only way I knew how, with ass. I pulled down my pants and started to shit down her throat. She stopped breathing and I knew I had to try something thing new. I put my ass in her face and started thrusting my ass into her face as hard and fast as I could. My moms nose started to bleed it looked broken. I knew it had to do with her sickness and not with my ass thrusting. Ass could never hurt anyone right? The paramedics arrived to find me squatting over my mom violently thrusting her with my ass. They pushed me aside to help my mom. They were talking to each other. I could hear one say she's not breathing. At that point I was scared. Then I heard one of them say, "there's something blocking her wind pipe". The other paramedic then began to push on her chest. I was a sobbing mess and screaming at the paramedics to save her. I knew that they couldn't help her, they weren't using ass. Ass is the key to life. But to my surprise the paramedic pushed on my moms chest one final time and my mom began to cough up shit. When I say cough I mean VIOLENTLY THROWING UP SHIT. Shit was staining everything. Shit was being sprayed on the ceiling fan. I guess you could say, shit hit the fan. My mom finished her volcanic eruption of shit and soon she was breathing fine. The paramedics looked at me and asked "Do you know anything about the shit clogging her wind pipe?"
" Of course I do, I was reviving her with the power of ass"
The paramedics looked at me in disgust and said, "You know you almost killed your mom, and managed break her nose and jaw. I couldn't believe what I had done. How could ass kill my mom? The greatest thing on earth besides late night cinemax. The one thing that got me through my depression. The thing that was there for me when my father died. The reason I'm still Here. ASS. I was chronically depressed ever since my father died, but what was the only thing that was always there for me? Ass. Everyone at school always bullied me and finally I had enough. I told everyone at school I was tired of their bull shit. I told them I was going to hang myself. You know what they said, "Do it pussy". That was it I went home and opened tumblr and looked up how to tie a noose. I tied the rope to a tree branch and grabbed the noose and put it around my neck. I kicked the chair I was standing on and began to hang myself. I was kicking and squirming. I just stared at the faded spiderman chair waiting for the sweet release of death. In my final seconds I started thinking what if there is no after life only darkness. That would mean I wouldn't get to be with the thing I loved the most, Ass. I would waste all the years I had ahead of me. Realizing I might never see ass again I gained strength and began to climb the rope tightening it in the process. I reached the branch and held on with one hand and loosened the noose with the other. I drop the ground gasping for air. I wasn't about to end and waste my life because of what some people said about me. I was gonna make something of myself. Ass got me through my depression and now it almost killed my mother. My eyes started to swell up in tears. My vision grew blurry and the room began to spin. I quickly got up and ran out the door. My vision was blurry and I couldn't tell if a car was coming, and frankly I didn't care. I wanted to die. How would you feel of the thing that's always been there all most killed your mother. The one thing that made life bearable. The one thing that made the self harming stop. The one thing that made me stop hearing the voices in my head. The one thing that helped me stand up to the bullies. That one thing is the reason my mom is on her way to the hospital. I began to walk down the sidewalk looking for trouble. And boy oh boy did I find it. I wandered into an alley and found a man laying in the Dumpster. He spoke before I knew what to say when I saw him. His appearance startled me. His head was out of proportion to his body. He had a large head on a small body. A chocolate blow pop is what he looked like with his chocolaty skin. His eyes never left mine. He kind of reminded me of my deceased father witch helped calm my nervousness. He looked at me and licked his lips and spoke in deep demonic raspy voice saying, "That's a nice ass you got There boi, mind if I borrow it?" Me missing a father figure in my life and him reminding me of my father strongly influenced my next decision. I replied," Why not I have no use for it anymore". In my mind ass was dead to me I had no use for it, what a fool I was, "In fact ill do you one better, you can keep it" The man looked at me with eyes of lust. He licked his lips and slowly spread apart my ass cheeks. He groaned in satisfaction in his raspy voice. He stuck out his tongue and slowly slid right along my ass crack. I grew impatient and ripped off my ass from my body and handed it to him. He quickly grabbed it from me and grinned a horrible grin, the type of grin to make new born babies grow hair just to have it turn white. He cackled while saying, "You fool, have you any idea what you've done, I am Lucifer , others call me Satan, you may know me as the Devil. For years I've been trapped in this pathetic mortals body but now you've freed me with the power of Ass." I looked at him in confusion, and before my very eyes he began to transform. My look of confusion turned into a look of horror as I witnessed him transform into a enormous creature of ass, a creature that visited me in my dreams before. He had become an ass monster and it was my fault. He screamed in demonic raspy voice, " You have unleashed hell on earth everyone will perish and its all because of you, all the deaths shall lay on your shoulders. The first person I shall eat will be the very person you neglected for your love of ass, YOUR MOTHER!" I screamed in terror dropping on my knees pounding on the ground and screaming, " NOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! THIS CANT BE HAPPENING!!!!!!". Between gasps for air and my sobbing I begged and pleaded for him to spare my mother. He smiled a devilish grin and stomped away setting off car alarms with every step. He was bigger than Godzilla's dick, even bigger than Godzilla himself. He was heading for my house. He didn't know my mom was in the hospital, that would buy me some time. I had two choices get to the hospital and worn my mother or beat him to the house and get my journal. Certainly there had to be something in there to help me defeat the ass devil. I had to think quick I was losing time. After a second of pondering I was sprinting home, I knew what to do. It was time to suit up.