The Girl is Mine {A Michael Jackson love story}

Journal

January 2, 1990
It's only been a day without Michael and I feel as though I'm already going insane. My heart is yearning to be with him, even though I know it's not going to happen because of the sick, vile, Seth who is holding me hostage here. I just wish ever so badly that I could see Michael and tell him how much I love him. I just hope he's doing a lot better than I am, but I doubt it......

-Kelly






February 14, 1990
I can't believe it's been longer than a month since I've last seen or heard from Kelly. It's been making me ballistic! I don't know where she is, or how she is, or what's happening to her.......... I feel so helpless. I feel like this is all my fault; it's the worst feeling in the world....... God, I love her so much.

-Michael






March 8, 1990
The bruises on my body definitely are hurting, but not nearly as much as my heart is. It was almost as if I left all of it with Michael, so now my chest is as hollow as a tree trunk. Not to mention how unbearable thinking about him is; I feel like this is all my fault that I brought all of my problems into his life. Oh well; it's too late to take anything back now, no matter how bad I want to.

-Kelly






April 19, 1990
I feel like I'm dying inside. I know it's only been three months but I still feel lifeless without her. I've actually felt so bad that I canceled all of my concerts, CD signings, and meet & greets for the rest of the year. I know my fans will be upset when they hear about it, but I think they'll understand........... or not.

-Michael






May 1, 1990
Seth has been very abusive lately, it seems that it's gradually getting worse. He actually tied me to the bedpost today......... It gives me the shivers just thinking about it. Man I miss Michael; his soft touch, the way his gentle lips felt on mine.
If it's possible to die form lack of love, I don't think I'll be hear much longer.

-Kelly






June 25, 1990
It's been too long since I've seen her, heard her beautiful voice, or touched her smooth skin........ I haven't even really talked to anyone lately, except for her family. I'm with them fairly often these days since they know exactly what I'm gong through. Except for Britney, no one has told her yet that her favorite auntie has been kidnapped by a phsyco maniac. We don't think she's ready to hear it yet, it's just not time. What it really is time for is for someone to at least find some kind of clue leading to Kelly. But I guess that's not going to happen now, is it?

-Michael






July 31, 1990
Seth had been holding me captive for six months now. I don't know how much more I can take of him. It's killing me on the outside to be with him, but it's even worse on the inside from missing Michael so much.
If I ever get out of this horrid place I'm going to need therapy for life. All because of him.

-Kelly






August 29, 1990
Today is my 32nd birthday. Everyone has been giving me gifts and telling me things to try and lift me up out of this....... place I'm in. Not a literal place, but a state of mind that I can't leave.
But no matter what anyone says or does, nothing will cheer me up. I only want her back.
Is that so much to ask?!

-Michael






September 3, 1990
Seth told me last night that I was moaning in my sleep. I was scared at first since he actually stayed up to listen to me, but then he told me what I had said. He claimed I was moaning, "Michael, I need you..... I still love you....." And let me tell you, that did not go down well with him at all. He beat me harder than he ever had that morning, and he didn't give me anything to eat until the day after.
It sucks that I have to take his crap; I just wish my prince would come and save me......

-Kelly





October 28, 1990
This is honestly the second worse day of my life. I would say this is the first but that was a long time ago.........
Today I was going to do something special for Kelly, and I had it all planned out too. I was going to take her to Chill Bubble Tea, which is her favorite drink place, then show her some of my dance moves in the studio, since she was always begging me to. After that we were going to go for a walk in the park where I'd sing Remember the Time to her as we held hands. When I thought she'd have been in a total trance was when I was going to make my move and............ propose to her. It may sound corny but not in my head.
Too bad now I'll probably never get the chance.......

-Michael







November 27, 1990.
I think today was Thanksgiving. I wasn't one-hundred percent sure though. Either way I guess Seth was feeling in a 'lovey' kind of mood, and he...... I think you know what happened next.
The only good thing that came out of this week was that I finally saw the sun in person for the first time in months; yes, Seth let me outside. Even if he was holding on the back of my shirt and my arm, it still felt good to get some fresh air and soak in the natural vitamin D. It did burn my eyes a bit but it was worth it.
Also, it's going to be Britney' eighth birthday in less than a week and I have felt worse than ever about not being there, whether it's my fault or not. I hope she'll be alright with Michael going instead; I know he will.

-Kelly






December 25, 1990
It's the day of Christmas, and everyone around here is taking it pretty hard. Kelly's parents told me that she was supposed to handle all of the food and decorations this year, and they said that they were looking forward to it because she always gave the house that 'Christmas feeling'.
We still had Christmas, but it was fairly evident that everyone was not in that cheery mood you're supposed to be in. Even Britney was out of it. When we all finished opening our gifts, she threw one of her teddy bears across the room in a violent way, "I don't want Barbies, or bears, or coloring books, or anything! I just want Aunt Kelly back! Where is she?!" she screamed as she began crying. No one answered her, so she ran up into Kelly room and continued to cry. I eventually went up to comfort her, which was complete deja vu to me. I got her to stop crying but it still stuck with me that she seemed even more upset than me. If that was even possible.
God, I want, no, need to hold Kelly again. I'm not sure how much longer I can take before I break..........

-Michael