Travis the Writer

Reinvention

I thought it might be finished this work with the last chapter, but I think there's more to say. The more I ponder this topic, I could write endlessly. This experience of writing my personal thoughts and emotions is actually kind of scary and humbling. How I write, and, more specifically, how I chose to present myself in this medium I find interesting. Most people don't consider themselves liars, but we all have a way of changing who we are to fit different walks of life. We all wear masks to match who we want to be and not who we are. 

In grade school, everyone wants to be a part of the in crowd. To some people, that's the sports jocks, others the band nerds, the gamer dweebs, or the drama queens. Clicks are supposed to be bad because they are so exclusive, but I think deep down we liked it that way. Everyone loves being with those they relate to and idolize. Everyone is encouraged to find where they belong and stay there. Why butt into someone else circle of acceptance? This is true not only in most schools, but also many church youth groups. On top of fitting in, kids are still young and developing their worldview. They are desperately seeking approval, and yet don't know what it means to have it. 

The strange thing is few people were truly themselves back then. Most people just played a part. They adapted a new lingo, hairstyles, and mannerisms to fit in. You might not have actually liked a certain band at first, but you memorized all their lyrics because your friends did (or rather the people you want to be friends with did). You probably felt guilty joining in on gossip or crude jokes, but if it made you one of the cool kids, how could you resist? And yet, the people we tried to impress were probably wearing a mask themselves. Maybe they acted a certain way in public to distract people from their inward emotional struggles. It's easier to laugh than cry. Maybe they pretended to like a trend, like Yu-Gi-Oh or ripping holes in jeans, because they craved attention. Perhaps, they secretly craved your personal attention.

Today's youth have the social media component that wasn't really there in my day. Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook (which I am told is for old people now) are all programs that kids use to try to be witty and hip. They all want the most likes, shares, and comments from their friends. Teens are rarely honest on social media. The drama kids deal with is now is mostly digital, like a certain picture or comment being shared around online. It's weird because youth today think they are cool because they have the most followers online, but yet don't really engage the world. They are so connected, and yet they are so alone. It's now more common to "stalk" your crush's social media, rather than just ask her things face to face. It's more courageous to post about some cause you believe in, than to actually support it on the street corner.   

Are adults really much different? I'd like to think so, but I am not sure. We as adults live in a sense of conformity. You're supposed to have a normal job, move out of your parent's house, and maybe start your own family and be a normal parent. Society has a strange sense of what normal means. Normal, in an adult society, means you give up childish things, like Pokemon or Legos. It also tends to mean not going to extremes. For example, you can support a political or religious issue, but letting it consume you isn't normal. Wearing red is okay, but wearing only red ever is too much of an extreme for adulthood. And, it is not normal as an adult to say what you're thinking all the time, even if what you're thinking is the same as everyone else. Adults are less concerned about fitting into the popular crowd as they are fitting into proper society so they can find the right job and spouse. Those both aren't bad things, but I think adulthood is seen as compromising in order to get what we think we need. Our childhood dreams and passions often become distractions or hobbies at best. We all need money and stability. There's little money (we think) in pursuing the latest fashion, Asian cartoons, or music.

But yet... we often have these rare moments in life when we can reinvent ourselves. We can change our image when we move to a new town or take up a new job. When you're the new guy (or gal) on the scene you have a choice of how you can present yourself. You can be the funny person cracking jokes in the breakroom. You can be the quiet person always watching and mentally taking notes. You can be the brown noser and try hard. You can honestly be whatever you want. Your true self might slip out from time to time and there might be consequences for it in the adult world. On the other hand, you might find your natural personality is an aide in your business. In today's technological world, it's hard to have these resets on life. Old posts can be dug up from social media to haunt you. That's life.

Writing is freeing to me because I don't have to wear a mask. I can write as I truly want to feel. I can reinvent my true self through my characters. I can scatter my personality in the plot. I can reinvent society itself into the utopia of my mind. It's fun to imagine a world in which wearing only red ever is normal. We all wish our sense of normal was society's normal; that way we don't have to hide or forget. Travis the Writer is an escape to forget this ugly world, but he is also a way to express my idealisms and my sense of self. I don't want to forget what's important to me, so I write it down. That's why I started a journal a few years ago. However, by writing fiction and poems of adventure and peril I am able to go beyond just remembering my past self. By reinventing this world with wild imagination, I am able to apply and interpret my normal into new situations. Some of these situations are relatable, other I want to relate to. Some things I know I can never experience. I don't have the body to be an super star basketball player, the money to travel the world, or the time to learn every language. I can only imagine these kind of things and let that be a reinvention of myself I can never fulfill in this world.

We should all be writers. It isn't hard. It's just stringing together words that express something meaningful. We can all be the heroes (or heroines) of worlds we create. You cannot get this kind of freedom and meaning out of an open world role playing video game. A life counselor cannot interpret your thoughts in the same way as your writing can.

That's just my thoughts.