Mission 1832: Harry Styles

Chapter Fourteen:

So, I have decided to put the songs I listen to for each chapter. The reason why there are so many songs is because, I mostly think then type. 

Songs for the chapter is: 

Stand By You by Rachel Plattern, Here by Alessia Cara, Purpose by Justin Bieber, Seven Years by Lukas Graham, Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande, Summer Love by One Direction, Stay With Me by Sam Smith, Animals by Maroon 5, and Nothing but Trouble by Charlie Puth.

Louis and I finally pull up to the familiar apartment and I sigh heavily. I wish that the drinks I had earlier would've just intoxicated me. I honestly don't want to think right now, and my brain is clouded with thoughts. Starting with Caleb with his dishonesty, then with Harry and our so called future. I always knew my next move, now I don't. Styles is just so nerve wrecking. Then it goes down to Louis.

You don't have to be so damn stuck up all the time. Jesus, I am just trying to make things right.

Louis words lingered in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about them. What could Louis be talking about? Was he trying to mend our friendship because I don't want a friendship with him. I know, I know. Why would I call him if I don't want him to be my friend. Honestly, I have no one else. He was the only person who knew everything about my past. From my very first memory to my greatest fears. He knows it all, except the ones that have happened in the past few years.

Then Liam, I don't know what I am going to do about him. I mean yea, he is a good friend or whatever, but we had a history and it wasn't all that good. He seemed to be over it, but I sort of felt bad for doing something so horrible to him. He was publicly embarrassed. He transferred to another campus, but he came back senior year, and he still locked broken, at least around me.

I can't help but to feel that I am the reason for everyone's sadness. If you really think about it, I am and I highly regret it and I never intentionally hurt anyone. Then it is Niall. Niall was my best friend until I went ghost on him. I had to for the experiment. It is now, that I am running into my horrible past. Can I ever get his friendship for us to be back where it once was? Last but not least, was Kian.

Kian was everything to me. I knew him since we were in diapers, but my first memory of him was when we were four. That was the first time I actually remembered him. We were playing that day, in the mud being kids. I loved those memories. All of the memories I had with Kian was great except for the last one. The one that I want to forget.

I can feel my mind trying to drift to Elliot, but I push that out of my head. I can't think about him. If I do I just might break right now. If I do decide to break, hopefully it's with Louis. He has seen me in some of my most pathetic moments. I wish we were like we used to be, but I don't think I can handle the anger. The walls that I have built for years will be torn down and I can't let that happen.

"Are you ready to go in," Louis asked me.

"Yea," I say.

My response was short, but my tone is sharp and I have to keep it like that. All I want is sleep, but it seems as if I will not get that with Louis around. Maybe I can convince him to do so. Just until the morning at least. I really want to delay this talk for as long as possible. Unbuckling my seat belt, I open the door and climb out of Louis' car. He comes over to my side and offers his arm.

I link mine with his and we make our way to Louis' apartment door. It is the same one that I have been years ago. This apartment holds so many memories. Some good and most of them bad. I never knew that it things will have been this way. If you would've told me three years ago that Louis and I will fall apart, I would've laughed in your face and told you how close we are. We were like Bonnie and Clyde instead friends. We used to be so close.