Greyscale [✓]

Chapter 39

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

Hannah had avoided the world for almost a week, spending her days lying in her sister's bed and watching homemade videos of her siblings growing up. It left a bittersweet taste in her mouth; on one hand she adored the adorable moments that had been captured but on the other, she was somewhat jealous even though she knew she shouldn't have been. It wasn't her father's fault that he hadn't been in her life and she had to admit that Auntie Sara and Uncle Jay had done all they could for her.

And so had Cameron.

That thought made it even harder for her to ignore her cousin. She had smashed her phone screen but the bloody thing still worked and every few hours she got a call. She'd sent him a quick text on the third day after he had called a million times, probably making numerous spelling mistakes due to barely being able to see what she was typing. 'I'm alive, don't worry,' was all she had said, feeling guilt rise up inside her.

She knew very well that whilst he may have been disgusted to see her half naked – after all, who wanted to see that with their cousin? Gross – he would still be worried sick about her. And as he didn't know where Chris lived, he hadn't been able to barge right in and ensure she was okay.

Her friends had all also called and left her numerous messages, encouraging words filling up her phone. And so had Rayne. He was the one person she was most scared to face and whilst she knew it wasn't rational to blame him considering it was neither of their fault, the student body wouldn't be analysing every pore and curve of her boobs if they hadn't had sex that night. 

His voice rose through the air, a lump in her throat as she listened to his voicemail.

Hey... it's uh, it's me... Well, I guess you already know that. I don't really know what to say anymore... I've said it all already and uh, you might not even be listening... I miss you... I miss uh, talking to you and hearing you laugh and stuff and uh, I'm so mad that you're so upset right now... and embarrassed too I guess... I wish I could make it less but I don't really know what to do. Whenever you're ready to come back and stuff, uh, I'll be here. Okay? Uh, bye Hannah, I'll see you around... hopefully.

"Are you seriously gonna sit and wallow in your pity whilst listening to his voicemails over and over again?" Lucy asked, falling down on the bed with enough force to make Hannah jump slightly. She had just pulled her school uniform on, tightening her maroon tie as she chided Hannah with a wagging of her finger and toothpaste on her chin. After hearing all about Rayne and their impromptu 'date' from the older sister she had never known she had, Lucy was very much aboard the lets-ship-Rayne-and-Hannah train.

Before Hannah could defend herself, her stepmother's voice resounded from downstairs. "You're gonna be late! Breakfasts ready, kids!"

The two girls trudged downstairs, little Liam skipping after them with a giggle. Hannah was still wearing her pyjamas, refusing to go back to school for the seventh day in a row but her phone soon rang with her Aunt's voice.

"Hello?" Hannah had whispered, not sure what to say. She knew that by now Cameron would have told his parents what had occurred and the shame hadn't left her, still sinking into her skin despite the passing time. Every time she thought back to that moment the video played she felt nauseous, bile rising in her throat and her stomach twisting wildly. True to their word, however, the school had locked down on their IT system and had blocked the video from circulating as much as possible.

"Hey there, darling," Sara answered, thankful that her niece had picked up the phone. "How are you feeling?"

Hannah laughed although it was empty, the sound tearing at her windpipe like thorns. "I'm... okay, I guess. I'll survive. I'm, uh, I'm staying with my dad at the moment. Could you let Cam know, please? I haven't told him but–"