Chapter 1 (The Origins)

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My Bipolar Disorder: I am Joslyn Alexander, I am 13 years old and I have Bipolar Disorder. I was diagnosed on August 14, of this year 2018. It started when my father left last year. I was in those stages of grief and sadness. I didn't know why he left, he just came into my room one night and picked me up and tried to carry me to the door. My mother stopped him, screaming,

"GIVE ME MY DAUGHTER!" I didn't know at the time but my dad was trying to bring me with him. I wanted to go, but what about my mother. She then grabbed her phone and threw it at him, his reaction was covering his face with both hands, but also dropping me. I don't remember what happened next because I had passed out from the impact. This also sprung a leak in my brain, I was born with weak tissue, which at that moment had torn and caused my normal brain to feel a little different, and by that I mean I had gone bipolar.

The next morning I woke up on my bed, I felt a little woozy but good enough to get up. I opened my door to hear my mother crying, I remembered the night before. I was angry but a little confused.

"Why did he leave me..." I said softly.

" Why Did he leave me..." I said louder. I slowly started to walk backwards, until I hit my bed side lamp. I turn around grabbing it in anger and fear. I threw it across the room, shattering the light bulb inside. I sat down starting to cry of anger, but still inside I was afraid of what was going to happen next. what was my mother thinking at that moment. I grabbed my ceramic dog and threw it in the same direction of the lamp, throwing it in anger! Again I felt that feeling of unknown and uncertainty. I still felt that anger.

"WHY DID HE LEAVE ME!" I screamed as loud as I could! My mother worried, ran into my room wondering what was wrong,

"Joslyn, why are you screaming?" She asked. I gave her a look of question, because I didn't know what was wrong, I was so uncertain of what was wrong that I screamed again, this time crying while I screamed .

"Shh..., Joslyn, I..., He... he left us," My mother whispered.

"I know you loved him, and... he loved you, but, it.."

" I know mom, I know" I replied angrily. I felt this anger inside me, it hurt. It was all her fault, No, it was all my fault. Who's fault was it? Was it mine? Was it her's? "No, No, NO!" I screamed. I needed to know who's fault it was. "I need to know," I mumbled. "I need to know!" I exclaimed. I grabbed my water glass throwing it at my door. The glass shattering to pieces, my mother in awe at my behavior, grabbed my arm and pulled me to her car, putting me in the back seat. She buckled my seat belt and got in the drivers seat. She drove me to the doctors, grabbing my arm again and pulling me into the office.
"My daughter, she has gone crazy, she needs to be seen by a doctor, NOW!" My mother yelled. The front desk lady asked my name.
"Joslyn Alexander." My mother said worrying.
"Ok, we will have the doctor give her a check up in a second. for now please sit down." She said. We sat down and I started to feel that feeling of anger again. My hands started to shake, I tried to distract myself by reading a magazine but my hands were to shaky to turn the page.
"Mrs. Alexander?" Said the doctor.
"Yes, my daughter she, she, needs some help. Her hands continuously shake and she has been throwing things and screaming and then crying!" My mother whimpered.
"I understand, has anything happened in the past 24 hours that could have had an impact on her?" He asked.
My mother then continued on about what happened with my father...
"I see, your daughter is probably going through a depression right now, you should come back in 1 month and see if she is any better." He stated.
"Yes Doctor." Said my mother and we went home.
Record Date: September 20, 2018
This Year: January 8, 2033
State of Emergency: 12%
Years Since Diagnoses: 15
Patients Age: 28
Name: Joslyn Alexander
Hospital Check In: Every 3 Months
Illness: Bipolar Depression
Medication: valproic acid, lithium, lamotrigine, quetiapine, cognitive behavior therapy or psychotherapy, Anticonvulsant and Antipsychotic.

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