Stay

No apologies

I was shocked to hear that I couldn't get out of the bloody glade (uh! I'm getting Newt's accent)! I didn't know if I could trust Thomas, I mean, he kind of hates me right now, so he would be capable of lying about this just to get rid of me. 'I'll stay' I said, surprising my own self 'but only if you swear that this is true' 'Y/N, you can't, I've already lost you, but I don't want you alone in here' Newt got closer to me and touched my shoulder, and I hated when he did that because I got goosebumps every time he did it. I wasn't angry with him anymore, I couldn't be angry with him, so I leaned to kiss his lips, but he turned his face. Thinking that a few months ago, he would be the one who wanted to kiss and I would be the one to turn my face is ironic. I guess we changed the game, I guess I changed the game.
I felt so embarrassed when he did that, I felt like I wasn't wanted, because I wasn't. I ran out of the building, just like when Thomas tried to kiss me, but this time I didn't want to find Chuck, I wanted to be alone for at least a minute. When I got to my secret place (apparently it wasn't anymore), I sat down, leaned against the tree and hugged my knees to cry: "What have I done?" I thought out loud, still sobbing, "I've lost the only guy that liked me, even Loved me in this place! I'm such a selfish bitch!" I insulted myself while crying alone, at least I thought I was. 'You're not a bitch. You are selfish, but not a bitch' Thomas was behind another tree with something in his hands, looked like a note, 'HA! As if you cared if I'm a selfish bitch or not! You don't even look at me anymore! We were friends!' I attacked him verbally 'hey, hey, calm down! I'm just the delivery guy! And by the way, I never stopped liking you, okay?' He protected himself 'delivery guy? What do you have to deliver?' I asked As I got up and stopped crying so much, but I was still sad. He gave me a note:
"у/и, ι'м ѕσяяу fσя тυяиιиg му fα¢є αωαу fσя уσυя кιѕѕ. ι ωσυℓ∂ нανє ℓσνє∂ тнαт кιѕѕ, αи∂ ι ѕтιℓℓ ℓσνє уσυ, вυт тнιѕ ιѕи'т ωσякιиg συт fσя уσυ. уσυ αяєи'т αиgяу αиумσяє вє¢αυѕє ℓσνє вℓιи∂є∂ уσυ. ι ℓιє∂ тσ уσυ, ι києω ι ωαѕ ℓуιиg, вυт уєт, ι кєρт ∂σιиg ιт. ι ѕнσυℓ∂и'т нανє мα∂є уσυ ѕυffєя ѕσ мυ¢н, вυт ι ʝυѕт ∂ι∂и'т ωαит уσυ тσ ℓєαяи му ∂αяк ραѕт, вє¢αυѕє ωιтн уσυ, ι σиℓу ωαит fυтυяє. ιf уσυ ѕтιℓℓ ℓιкє мє, мσνє σи, єνєи ιf ιѕ нαя∂, вє¢αυѕє ι'νє ∂σиє иσтнιиg вυт нσяяιвℓє тнιиgѕ тσ уσυ. тнσмαѕ яєαℓℓу ℓσνєѕ уσυ, gινє нιм α ¢нαи¢є.
fяσм уσυя fяιєи∂,
иєωт"
Reading those words, from Newt, hit me like a griever. I started sobbing and fell in the ground, but Thomas held me. I looked up to him, sad and alone in this horrible world, and I thought I was going to feel something new about him, but I didn't. He wasn't Newt. He could never be him.
'Y/N, I'm here for you. Please give me a chance' the runner said, still holding me in his arms, 'I can't, at least not for now' I replied 'I can't believe Newt wrote this! Are you sure that he sent this?' I asked, letting go of him, 'yes! Why don't your trust me?' 'I do! I just can't understand why he ditched me like this! I thought he loved me...' 'He still does! And it hurts him to let you go, but he knows that this is the best for you' Thomas comforted me, opening his arms for a hug, 'Look, Y/N, I know we don't exactly empathize with each other, but I want you to know that I'm here for you and that I will never, never, stop loving you. Even if you don't love me'. Still with his arms open, he told me that sweet words, words that made me feel batter, words that made me feel something new about Thomas. I ran to his arms and hugged him tightly: 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I should had chose you over Newt! You are way more loyal!' I cried in his shoulder while We hugged 'It's ok, I love you so much' Thomas said sweet things about how he never gave up and he never will, and then we separated from each other. 'I know we kinda just "met", but if I lean to kiss you, will you kiss me back?' He joked, holding my waist and putting his right hand in my left cheek, 'why don't you find out?' I said on the tip of my toes, so that I could reach his lips. We kissed and it was great, but it didn't felt good as Newt's kiss. I guess I had to move on. And I did.
We stop kissing after a few minutes and when we stopped, we looked at each others eyes: Thomas eyes were, by far, way prettier than Newt's. I could see the stars in it. But that moment ended as soon as it started: 'Y/N?' Newt asked with tears in his brown eyes 'You're already seeing someone else?' He cried 'you told me to' I replied while I let go of Thomas 'and by the way, were you watching the whole time?' The runner joked, 'Do I look like I need any bloody jokes? You bastard! Y/N, I didn't know you were such a slut, I just broke up with you and you're already kissing another asshole's mouth?' The first in command got closer to me and pointed his index finger to me 'I won't resent this, but we are no longer friends. I'll help you with anything you need, but only because I'm the commander and I can't let my feelings decide what to do with you.' He completed, but now he looked at Thomas, 'Nor you' Newt said pointing his index finger at the runner.
After that, Newt left the woods and ran towards someone I couldn't see. Things changed, And I can't say if it's for the best.